Look, I know it’s weird and all. Me showing up like this at your door. I don’t know you–but I feel like I do. I know you only as a concept. A worker. My worker. Can I come in?

Seen too many dating profiles like this one: “Hi. I’m Beverly. I’m passionate about lasagna, I root for the Blackhawks, and I have a pet turtle named Wally.” A swipe left for sure—reject! Turns out, there’s more to Bev than carbs, pucks, and reptiles. When CookieMatch, our dating service, enhanced her profile with an account of her online life—what she clicks on—you see a far more intriguing woman. She’s fascinated by the graffiti of ancient Pompeii; she’s reading up on 19th century magic tricks; and she has an ongoing interest in herbal aphrodisiacs. Voila! Bev’s become an alluring right swipe.

On a dark and stormy Halloween night in 2016, a family from Brooklyn wandered down the gluten-free aisle in the Upper East Side Whole Foods.  Legend has it that the hunt for an edible frozen pizza crust made of cauliflower drove them mad, and they were never seen or heard from again.

Welcome, aspiring Little League coaches. As a long-time coach myself, I’ve been brought in to address one of the most critical facets of this important community role. And trust me, unlike the first aid training and introduction to proper stretching that you’ve already received, I can guarantee you that what you learn from me today will be something you use early and often in your tenures coaching impressionable young men in the finer points of America’s Game. 

We’re so glad you’ve decided to stay at one of our thousands of Slightly Better Than Average™ hotels.

As a Cubic Zirconia Member™, you are entitled to park anywhere you like in the Denny’s lot next door! Just let Tad, the night manager over there know when he arrives for his shift at 8 because sometimes he forgets and calls for a tow!