Fake Nonfiction

“You thought Ledger had it bad,” by Pete Zipf

Jan 4th, 2023 | By

Chris Pratt battles demons while preparing for his role of Garfield in the Garfield movie. 

“Your Submission Needs a Plot,” by Shira Musicant

Dec 28th, 2022 | By

Is it possible you have enrolled in Short Story 101 by mistake? There is still time to withdraw from the class without penalty. You might consider switching your major from creative writing to math, which may be more suited to your literary skills.

“So You Want to Have Sex with an Alien,” by Nathan Rudibaugh

Dec 14th, 2022 | By

If you are an interstellar traveler for long enough, you will want to have sex with an alien.

Even if you usually have the abundance of willpower or dearth of sex drive to resist or ignore temptations of the flesh, the dull and isolated nature of space travel has a habit of turning even the most chaste celestial sightseer into a sex-starved letch.

“Codicil of My Ill Will,” by Melanie Chartoff

Nov 23rd, 2022 | By

Being of sound mind and ill will, I, Karen Miller-Strauss, execute this document dated March 19, 2022, to replace all prior wills and codicils from me or my beloved late husband, Arthur Strauss for whom I am next of kin, a blood relative, having given blood to sustain him during his final surgery. Disbursements will be reduced by the line item amounts for reasons stated.

The Syllabus, Sisyphus and Us,” by Robert Zaretsky

Nov 16th, 2022 | By

Class Requirements: Black turtleneck. Hair pomade. Pack of Gauloises (or, in a pinch, Camel non-filters). Espresso-stained copy of Être et rien (and you will regette rien by rrroolling those r’s).