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Defenestration: August 2021

Good morning, everyone! Happy Friday and best wishes to all of you on this fine 20th of August! And welcome! Welcome to the latest issue of Defenestration, which, if we’ve assembled this thing correctly (and we think we have), contains the sum total of everything you have ever thought was hilarious and condensed it into an easily consumable format. (And coming soon: Defenestration, the suppository!)

Defenestration: April 2021

Another year, another issue of Defenestration! And this begins Volume 18, which means Defenestration is legally an adult. We’re going to light some fireworks, eat some cake, and destroy a piñata. Let the merriment begin!

Defenestration: December 2020

This year was literally filled with death and destruction on a level most of us aren’t used to, but that doesn’t mean humor has been destroyed along with it. Some legitimately hilarious things have happened in 2020, and this month we’re going to pile on an extra helping of hilarious things before the year comes

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Nonfiction

“Saving the Pure-Blooded American Alpha Male,” by Sara Traynor

While the coronavirus pandemic has gripped the nation, a subtler, far more dangerous pandemic has silently infiltrated the minds and bodies of America’s men: Soy Boyism.

Fake Nonfiction

“Bird Heaven,” by Ben Unglesbee

Time to face reality. My upstart public aquarium isn’t taking off. This morning it amounted to five fish, one of which turned out to be some sort of serial killer and assassinated the others, until it was just him. So, one fish. This week I called around, ended up with a very conditional agreement to loan me a sea turtle. Needless to say, I will have to catch my own sharks. The real blow was Dirk, my angel investor, lost all his capital in the GameStop bubble.

Fiction

“What’s wrong?” by Priyanka Kole

I called her,

Lily on 1st April,

Julie on 15th,

Rekha on 3rd May.

She didn’t complain, yell, or punch me in the face.

Poetry

“Another Server Calls me ‘Young Lady,'” by Tina Barry

I’ve blown into the bakery, a witch
for fine pastry—buns, biscuits and better—
warm cookies crisp. My stare turns sweets unsavory. My broom
sours sables, toughens muffins.

Visuals

“Captain Ahab: A Sonnet,” by Aaron Caycedo-Kimura

For your Sunday enjoyment: a comic that is also a poem!

Ben & Winslow

Seeds For Days

Today Winslow’s experimenting with some healthier snack options. Word to the wise: anything that claims to be “healthy” but comes packaged like a candy bar probably won’t be very good. You can practically taste the duplicity.