The Great American Mall is a lesson in extinction. Discovered in Minnesotan suburbia in the 1950s, the species became endangered nearly 60 years later due to digital evolution, economic recession, and general ennui of the American people. Despite attempts to rekindle public interest in these commercial giants, the malls endured for only 15 more years before fading away entirely, their coffin nailed by the rise of other, more advanced commercial species, namely Commercium Virtualis, whose impressive gestation period and compact scale captured the hearts of the nation.

Looking ahead to conditions this week, there is a normal and natural cycle of heat waves in the South and Midwest as an undocumented surge of fronts moves across the US-Mexico border on Sunday, the holy day of the Sabbath.

On Monday, regions in the South will experience another series of northern atmospheric aggressions with cold fronts bringing thunderstorms, high winds, and oppressive government overreach. After an initial series of ineffectual left-leaning frontal bands passes through, a strong high-pressure system, conservatively estimated at 1029.3 millibars, will make the American weekend great again.

The eleven-foot pole. (Useful in touching things you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole)

Beautiful, mid-century modern, daylight basement home built in 1960 for sale in thriving southeast Portland. Sitting on 1/3 of an acre, this property feels like a country oasis in the middle of the city. At just over 2,000 square feet and with room to add an ADU in the future, this can be your forever home as well as your income property. The land is lined with well-manicured arbore vitaes that turn a stunning brown in the summer, and beautiful local trees have been planted within the last two years to help offset the carbon footprint of the newly installed central air conditioning.

Hello, Hells Angels. I know it must be a surprise to see me up here—after all, most of you know me as Demon’s Claw, your New Initiate. But in reality, my name is Chet, and I’m a McKinsey Associate. Your president hired me last month to conduct a full review of the club and identify strategies for modernizing it, so I went undercover. I imagine some of you questioned why the new guy who couldn’t shoot a gun—or even ride a motorcycle—was trying to join Hells Angels, but I hope I won you over with my deep knowledge of the history of this organization and a seemingly endless supply of vulgar T-shirts.