Fake Nonfiction

“An Interview After Crushing My Son’s Friend in Mario Kart 8,” by Derek Bremer

Aug 3rd, 2022 | By

“Hi there! I’m Chip DeForsey for THE QUATRO, the Game Show Network’s fourth channel, and I’m here with Derek Bremer on his epic win tonight. Derek how long have you been playing Mario Kart?”

“Fits and Starts: New Music Concert Jolts and Dazzles,” by Eva Meckna

Jul 27th, 2022 | By

If you weren’t in Dinkmeyer Hall last night you missed a provocative musical experience. Contemporaneus Extraneus Musicus presented, as usual, a memorable mélange of pieces that have expanded the musical universe. The program was entitled “Beyond Nowness,” and it lived up to that extravagant promise as this reviewer found himself several times wishing for the future to arrive.

“Notice to All Employees Regarding the Burger Czar’s Appearance,” by Ken Robey

Jul 6th, 2022 | By

I am pleased to announce that we will be marking our seventh year of operation as a Burger Palace franchise with a gala Grand Opening celebration.  The Burger Palace corporate office has given us the long-awaited green light and has set its massive public relations wheels in motion. The big day will be November 12.  I’m sure we will all find this momentous occasion to be well worth the wait.

“Zookeeping for Dummies,” by Sarah Totton

Jun 29th, 2022 | By

How do you zoo?

It’s easy.

Just follow these simple steps.

“The IKEA Hotline: Please Press 1,” by DS Racer

Jun 22nd, 2022 | By

DISEMBODIED MALE VOICE:  “Hej! Thank you for calling the IKEA Hotline.  We’re here to help you assemble our fine pieces of furniture.  Sustainable living begins at IKEA.  For service in English press one.  Para instrucciones en español, oprima dos. för instruktioner på svenska, tryck tre.”