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Jonathan’s Bike Adventure
Every weekend, I go to my favorite coffee shop for writing time. I hate driving there – it’s only two miles and comes with a residual guilt of being lazy, wasting gas and adding to our carbon footprint. Still, two miles is a long walk and time consuming because of all the major roads.
So I bought a bike. I figured this was a fantastic solution – I checked online and it should only take about fifteen minutes to bike up. There’s no pollution involved and this would be an excellent source of exercise. Needless to say, I was thrilled with my decision and was looking forward to incorporating this bike ride into my writing schedule.
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Featured
Ten years, you guys. This October, Defenestration will be ten years old!
Have any of you ever read slush? Have you ever read slush for ten years straight? After so long a time, Eileen’s lucky to still have her sanity, and I’m lucky to still have my sanity and my rakish good looks. But the slush is wearing us down, and we’re quickly becoming editors on the edge. We don’t sleep well. We don’t eat well. Our nerves have been rubbed raw. I have literally—literally—seen Eileen turn into a Tyrannosaurus over seemingly insignificant things. The other day she almost leveled an IHOP after finding an uneven distribution of blueberries in her blueberry pancakes. This sort of destruction cannot continue no matter how awesome and no matter how many views the resulting videos on YouTube attain.
I’ve had a busy, busy couple of weeks. So busy, in fact, that I was having trouble coming up with something to write about for my editorial this month. Eileen suggested I write about pie, but this year also marks Defenestration’s TENTH volume. So in place of an editorial, here’s a list of ten pies…
Welcome to December 2012, travelers!
I’ll jump right into this editorial biz: I love it when a submission stick with me.
After the initial read, the hold request, the dozens of other submissions that come and go… it’s nice to reach the end of the reading period and vividly remember the stuff I held onto. Take, for example, Addison Clift’s “The Passenger.” That was one of the first stories we added to the pending pile, way back in early September. But when the reading period closed, I knew I wanted it in this issue. I remembered it. More than that–every time I stepped into a subway car, I though about it, as if any moment a fellow commuter would shed his skin and devour the other passengers. (This was especially true when a crazy guy boarded the train and started talking about how he was President Obama’s brother and how Dr. King “never took shit from no one,” and then had a long discourse with an invisible friend that involved the Kennedy assassination and several unkind comments about women. “Phara Koltana I am your vessel!” wasn’t far off.)
Prose
“How I Want to Die,” by Alex Rosenfeld I die at seventeen, because I’m currently twenty-one, so dying at seventeen would make me either invincible or the proud owner of a time machine. I’ll go with the latter.
I buy my time machine at forty-four, because you could call predicting a type of four-shadowing. Since I’m smart enough to make that clever little play on words, I’m smart enough to know I won’t be inventing a time machine any time soon.
Ben & Winslow
But Wait, We Have A Dinosaur! Hello, everyone! Just wanted to remind you all that we’re still alive here at Defenestration. Just enjoying our time off!
Someone over at my deviantART gallery requested a picture of Winslow chasing Ben from atop a dinosaur. I figured I’d share it here, as well. Because DINOSAUR!
Eileen: This is Your Brain On…
The Tall Bland Starring Jessica Beige There is a sinister being roaming the streets in the film The Tall Man. It has monstrous lips and empty eyes. It’s name is Jessica Biel and she is also an executive producer for this film.
Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.
Jonathan’s Bike Adventure Every weekend, I go to my favorite coffee shop for writing time. I hate driving there – it’s only two miles and comes with a residual guilt of being lazy, wasting gas and adding to our carbon footprint. Still, two miles is a long walk and time consuming because of all the major roads.
So I bought a bike. I figured this was a fantastic solution – I checked online and it should only take about fifteen minutes to bike up. There’s no pollution involved and this would be an excellent source of exercise. Needless to say, I was thrilled with my decision and was looking forward to incorporating this bike ride into my writing schedule.
Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica
Just Prop ‘im Up in the Corner During the course of our lives, we’re introduced to the people who make up the world around us. From birth, we get to know and love our family, and, if our personality isn’t that of a curmudgeonly old man, we’re lucky enough to find friends whom we care deeply for. These relationships grow and blossom for years to come, but those who you’ve trusted to not poison your meals will inevitably succumb to death.
Genevieve: Ubiquitous Film Review
Five Movies That Could Have Used a Time-Traveling Bruce Willis So I guess if this year’s sci-fi action tickler Looper has taught us anything, it’s that no actor is as well-equipped to go back in time and talk to some dummies about life as Bruce Willis.
