Columns
Expletives in a Glass
I’ve compiled a few recipes for your drinking pleasure over the next unbearable four (eight?) years.
Recent Posts
- The Dread Pirate Robots
- “Food Containers of My Exes,” by Tim Covell
- Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing
- “New listings on RentMyCar.com!” by Vijay Ilankamban
- Winslow Mansplains It All
- “Letter to the Editor: An Impassioned Plea for Assistance in Locating My Supermarket Soul Mate,” by Brent Hearn
- Save the Date
- “This Emergency Spill Response Will Officially Kick-Off Once Domino’s Delivers Those 746 Party Pizzas,” by Jack Caseros
- Airport Baggage
- “Sidewalk Minimalist Renounces Soapbox in Favor of Just Jumping Really High,” by Gretchen Uhrinek
Featured
Sometimes these months (and even days) sneak up on you, but here we are: the August 2017 issue of Defenestration, the halfway point in our 14th volume, if you can believe it (you can’t). And what do we have for you? Another issue filled with the weird, the absurd, and the hilarious. We’re going to
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Good morning or possibly afternoon (or night)! Welcome to the April 2017 issue of Defenestration! And if I’m here welcoming you to a new issue, that also means I’m sitting at my computer the night before this issue goes live, wondering what the heck I should be writing about for my editorial. I mean, I could tell you about all the stuff you get to read this month, which may or may not include clown removal, jabberwockies, interesting clothes, dead bodies, ballet, and a bear named Doug.
You can’t see me, but I’m rubbing my hands together with sinister glee. Maybe I’m just excited to share this month’s issue of Defenestration with you. Or maybe I’m giddy about leaving this disastrous year behind. Or maybe I’m convinced that time is cyclical and that David Bowie will reappear sometime in early January. Okay, so maybe it’s all three. But this is Defenestration, so let’s talk about that, shall we?
Prose
“Food Containers of My Exes,” by Tim Covell I knew it wouldn’t last when Charlie picked out the plastic container for the half dozen cookies she insisted I take home. The box and the lid were different brands. They didn’t quite fit, and she was too impatient and uncaring to find the correct halves in her messy cupboard. She forced the lid, telling me it didn’t matter. We clearly had different priorities. When I called to thank her for the cookies, which she had made from scratch and which were very good, I told her we weren’t going to work out. She didn’t want her container back. I was tempted to throw it out, but decided the two halves might be useful someday, and added them to my collection.
Ben & Winslow
The Dread Pirate Robots From Ben & Winslow Studios comes a movie that is not even remotely similar to the beloved 1987 film The Princess Bride, because the words “princess” and “bride” appear nowhere in the title and because this one has a lot more robots. This is a wholly original script that has neither equal nor analog: a romantic fantasy comedy presented as a story told by a grandfather to his sick grandson, which also features robots! You’ll love it.
Eileen: This is Your Brain On…
Are YOU Irish Today? Let’s get ready to celebrate “Ireland’s Second Rate Saint Day!”
Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.
Expletives in a Glass I’ve compiled a few recipes for your drinking pleasure over the next unbearable four (eight?) years.
Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica
King Toadstool: Portrait of a Tyrant Koopa Kingdom isn’t an aggressive nation who wishes to destabilize the status quo because “that’s what bad guys do.” In fact, they’re a fledgling resistance, seeking to free all citizens of the world from under the iron fist of King Toadstool.
