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Defenestration: April 2017

Good morning or possibly afternoon (or night)! Welcome to the April 2017 issue of Defenestration! And if I’m here welcoming you to a new issue, that also means I’m sitting at my computer the night before this issue goes live, wondering what the heck I should be writing about for my editorial. I mean, I could tell you about all the stuff you get to read this month, which may or may not include clown removal, jabberwockies, interesting clothes, dead bodies, ballet, and a bear named Doug.

Defenestration: December 2016

You can’t see me, but I’m rubbing my hands together with sinister glee. Maybe I’m just excited to share this month’s issue of Defenestration with you. Or maybe I’m giddy about leaving this disastrous year behind. Or maybe I’m convinced that time is cyclical and that David Bowie will reappear sometime in early January. Okay, so maybe it’s all three. But this is Defenestration, so let’s talk about that, shall we?

Defenestration: August 2016

Summer has come and gone. Vacations have ended, and schools are gearing up for another year of drudgery. Pools are being filled with dogs, then drained of water (and dogs). Birds are flying back to wherever the heck they normally fly to. Fireflies, too. Also aliens. These are sad, depressing times. But at least we have a new issue of Defenestration to keep us company in the weeks ahead.

Prose

“Can We Please Bring Back the Casual Workplace Death Threat?” by Mike Fowler

As one who has been showing up at the office for over 20 years, I recall the days when I would arrive at 8 a.m. on Monday, and in response to my coworker’s sleepy, “Hey, Mike, ready for another week in the salt mines?”

Ben & Winslow

Super Grocery Kart

I don’t know if you’re aware of this (and I probably wouldn’t have paid much attention but I’ve got four kids, so…), but a lot of grocery stores have shopping carts shaped like little cars. The benefit to these things is that they can usually hold two small, squirming children instead of the usual one, making grocery shopping that much more bearable. But some of these things are true monstrosities.

Eileen: This is Your Brain On…

Are YOU Irish Today?

Let’s get ready to celebrate “Ireland’s Second Rate Saint Day!”

Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.

Expletives in a Glass

I’ve compiled a few recipes for your drinking pleasure over the next unbearable four (eight?) years.

Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica

King Toadstool: Portrait of a Tyrant

Koopa Kingdom isn’t an aggressive nation who wishes to destabilize the status quo because “that’s what bad guys do.” In fact, they’re a fledgling resistance, seeking to free all citizens of the world from under the iron fist of King Toadstool.

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