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Defenestration: August 2020

Hello again, friends and readers and people who stumbled here accidentally, to the August 2020 issue of Defenestration! We were all expecting our lives to be back to normal by now, but here we are, thoroughly abnormal. Normal isn’t a thing anymore. Normal is a historical blip, a tone box in a textbook from 2031,

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Defenestration: April 2020

Remember last year, specifically December 2019, when we were looking forward to 2020 and all the magic associated with a new decade? And then remember when 2020 showed up and Australia immediately burst into flames, and we thought nothing could possibly get worse than this? Boy, was that ever a mistake. I think we tend

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Defenestration: December 2019

Another year is drawing to a close, and that means we’ve got another fresh issue of Defenestration to share with you (and possibly your family, but not small children, thank you). But we’ve also reached the end of a decade, which is unbeleivable to me, because (1) I have no concept of time and (2) I don’t age. I’m almost exactly like Santa Claus, except don’t have a beard or a belly or a red suit, and I’ve never met an elf except for that one time at the Lord of the Rings convention.

Nonfiction

“The Absolutely True Diary of a Completely Undramatic and Entirely Rational Human Being,” by Madison Sweezy

I would have liked to be born a very dramatic, very unnecessarily serious human being in Victorian England, but have instead found myself in the 21st century, which is so devoid of castles through which I can run screaming and moors onto which I may throw myself as I cry. Modern America doesn’t allow for histrionics, so I have instead crafted a life for myself that is very mundane and stoic and not at all theatrical or hokey.

Fake Nonfiction

“Now Hiring,” by Sara Garland

Ping Pong Net Re-Stringer: Temp-to-Hire Contract Position—Seeking a self-starter with strong attention to detail and at least 5 years of experience in the ping pong, fishing, and/or shoestring industries to re-string ping pong nets in local tech company breakroom.

Fiction

“An Unopened Letter to Shirley,” by Raymond Lane

I hope that this letter finds you well. My apologies for using such an archaic form of communication, but as you know Earth has yet to join the intergalactic web.

Poetry

“Pająk,” by Anna Pisarka

A lazy glance up from the keyboard and I meet the eight eyes of doom.
Fuck.
My thoughts slip out from underneath me,
Two legs worthless against the icy battlefield of nature.

Visuals

A Comic by Mira Scharf

For your Sunday enjoyment: a comic!

Ben & Winslow

Coinage

Like most people, Winslow thinks coin currency is outdated and totally uncool.