Defenestration-Columns

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With it now being the third month into President Obama’s second term, quite a few debates regarding legislation has sprung up. There’s the ever popular “Defense of Marriage Act,” this whole second amendment hullabaloo, women’s rights when it comes to the development of a parasite in their body, drone attacks on American civilians, I’m sure there’s more, but you can only watch so much C-Span before you think to yourself “This would be a lot more interesting if Vince McMahon were Speaker….”

Featured

Defenestration: December 2012

Welcome to December 2012, travelers!

I’ll jump right into this editorial biz: I love it when a submission stick with me.

After the initial read, the hold request, the dozens of other submissions that come and go… it’s nice to reach the end of the reading period and vividly remember the stuff I held onto. Take, for example, Addison Clift’s “The Passenger.” That was one of the first stories we added to the pending pile, way back in early September. But when the reading period closed, I knew I wanted it in this issue. I remembered it. More than that–every time I stepped into a subway car, I though about it, as if any moment a fellow commuter would shed his skin and devour the other passengers. (This was especially true when a crazy guy boarded the train and started talking about how he was President Obama’s brother and how Dr. King “never took shit from no one,” and then had a long discourse with an invisible friend that involved the Kennedy assassination and several unkind comments about women. “Phara Koltana I am your vessel!” wasn’t far off.)

Defenestration: August 2012

Hello there, friends (and probably relatives), welcome to the August 2012 issue of Defenestration!

You’ll no doubt notice that this issue is short. Not short on content: we have five short stories and seven poems for you to enjoy this month. However, each of the short stories are flash fiction pieces. We didn’t really plan it out that way, but I don’t think you’ll mind. Characters included this month include a lovesick pharmacist, a digital daughter, a naked revolutionary, and a disillusioned science fiction writer. See for yourself! All the stories and poems can be found in the links below, or read together in the downloadable PDF copy.

I should add that this month’s issue contains strong language and sexual themes. That will probably just make you want to read it more, but I figured I should warn you all the same, so you’re not shocked and embarrassed. I can see you blushing already. Good. Get it out of your system now.

Defenestration: April 2012

Good morning or afternoon or evening or whatever. Welcome to the April 2012 issue of Defenestration, by far the greatest issue of Defenestration I’ve had the pleasure to publish in April 2012!

Since Defenestration isn’t a particularly large operation, Eileen and I act as both editors and slush readers. It’s an interesting experience. We get to see everything, absolutely everything, that pops into the in-box, without anyone filtering the content. We get to see the great, and the not-so-great, and the downright bizarre.

“Bizarre?” I hear you cry. “But you’re a humor magazine!”

Well, sirs and madams, when I say bizarre, I mean bizarre. And if you’ve ever read slush for a magazine, you know exactly what I mean.

Prose

Defenestration-Fake Nonfiction “Eliminating Sexist Myths About Women – An Informational Essay,” by Nick Hilbourn

Hello, my name is Nick Hilbourn, a professional English major.

If you’re like me, then you see women every day. Sometimes, twice a day. If you’re a woman, then you should probably double that number.

Yet, I am still shocked by the amount of misinformation about women’s bodies. I ignored this ignorance with a god-like patience until the last election, when the comments of some friends regarding the female body really threw me for a loop.

Ben & Winslow

03222013 The Doctor is Aweigh (Icon) The Doctor is Aweigh

Man. This is like I stepped into a time machine and ended up in 2004 or something. I haven’t drawn many strips like this lately: single panel, full color, with a joke that feels like you’ve just walked in as the punchline is being told. That’s all I DID back then, guys! And then I was seduced by the power of multiple panels and multiple jokes and all of that decadent nonsense. But for today, we’re dialing it back. So here’s a Ben & Winslow strip, 2004-style.

Eileen: This is Your Brain On…

Defenestration-The Tall Man The Tall Bland Starring Jessica Beige

There is a sinister being roaming the streets in the film The Tall Man. It has monstrous lips and empty eyes. It’s name is Jessica Biel and she is also an executive producer for this film.

Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.

desk Hole-Punching Titus Pullo

Dear Jonathan, I’m curious, what’s a typical work day like for you? My friends told me that you’re an ear model, but you seem too down to earth!   A delicate creature (and part-time ear model) has been overcome! ———- Got a question? Email jonathandefenestrates@gmail.com.    

Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica

Defenestration-Columns Pudge-ilist

With it now being the third month into President Obama’s second term, quite a few debates regarding legislation has sprung up. There’s the ever popular “Defense of Marriage Act,” this whole second amendment hullabaloo, women’s rights when it comes to the development of a parasite in their body, drone attacks on American civilians, I’m sure there’s more, but you can only watch so much C-Span before you think to yourself “This would be a lot more interesting if Vince McMahon were Speaker….”

Genevieve: Ubiquitous Film Review

prometheusbruce Five Movies That Could Have Used a Time-Traveling Bruce Willis

So I guess if this year’s sci-fi action tickler Looper has taught us anything, it’s that no actor is as well-equipped to go back in time and talk to some dummies about life as Bruce Willis.

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