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Defenestration: December 2017

Welcome, welcome, to our latest issue of Defenestration, typically known as the “December Issue” but also known as the “Winter Issue” or “Defenestationmas.” The weather outside is changing, and then changing again, and then changing back into the thing it had originally changed into, confusing everyone and making their noses drip like cartoon faucets. But never fear! Defenestration is here to help keep the world company in these dark and sometime chilly times.

Defenestration: August 2017

Sometimes these months (and even days) sneak up on you, but here we are: the August 2017 issue of Defenestration, the halfway point in our 14th volume, if you can believe it (you can’t). And what do we have for you? Another issue filled with the weird, the absurd, and the hilarious. We’re going to

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Defenestration: April 2017

Good morning or possibly afternoon (or night)! Welcome to the April 2017 issue of Defenestration! And if I’m here welcoming you to a new issue, that also means I’m sitting at my computer the night before this issue goes live, wondering what the heck I should be writing about for my editorial. I mean, I could tell you about all the stuff you get to read this month, which may or may not include clown removal, jabberwockies, interesting clothes, dead bodies, ballet, and a bear named Doug.

Prose

“My Boyfriend Is Gaining Weight And I Feel Shallow Because He’s Too Fat To Rescue Me From This Tower,” by Ben Hargrave

My boyfriend Ken and I have been in a beautiful relationship for thirteen years. What started out as a childhood friendship turned into a wonderful, harmonious union of mind, body, and soul. But now the body part is beginning to sag. Ken’s body, to be specific. He is gaining weight and I feel shallow because he’s too fat to rescue me from this tower.

Ben & Winslow

Lodzilla

Winslow is discovering the curse of being creative without actually doing research. You ever have this problem, creative types? You come up with an idea you think is really great, only to discover that the cool “fantasy” name you gave your main character actually means “penis” in Swahili?

Eileen: This is Your Brain On…

Are YOU Irish Today?

Let’s get ready to celebrate “Ireland’s Second Rate Saint Day!”

Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.

SEXY GOP CALENDAR

Presenting the proposed Sexy GOP 2018 Calendar and our star pin-ups!

Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica

King Toadstool: Portrait of a Tyrant

Koopa Kingdom isn’t an aggressive nation who wishes to destabilize the status quo because “that’s what bad guys do.” In fact, they’re a fledgling resistance, seeking to free all citizens of the world from under the iron fist of King Toadstool.

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