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Defenestration: December 2016

You can’t see me, but I’m rubbing my hands together with sinister glee. Maybe I’m just excited to share this month’s issue of Defenestration with you. Or maybe I’m giddy about leaving this disastrous year behind. Or maybe I’m convinced that time is cyclical and that David Bowie will reappear sometime in early January. Okay, so maybe it’s all three. But this is Defenestration, so let’s talk about that, shall we?

Defenestration: August 2016

Summer has come and gone. Vacations have ended, and schools are gearing up for another year of drudgery. Pools are being filled with dogs, then drained of water (and dogs). Birds are flying back to wherever the heck they normally fly to. Fireflies, too. Also aliens. These are sad, depressing times. But at least we have a new issue of Defenestration to keep us company in the weeks ahead.

Defenestration: April 2016

Well, well, well, what have we here? Has another issue of beloved humor magazine Defenestration crawled ashore to lay its eggs? I think it has!

I think Eileen would agree with me that editing this magazine has, on the whole, been an immensely positive experience. We get to read a lot of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry–most of it never before published, and some never before seen by another magazine or editor. That’s a cool experience. A humbling one, certainly. And it’s one of the things I love about editing Defenestration.

But the world can’t be sausages and rainbows all the time.

Prose

“A letter from the lads of Ladies’ Choice Feminine Care to all feminists,” by Ella Gonzalez

Dear feminists complaining about blue liquid in feminine hygiene commercials,

We accede to your demands and have heard your cries! No longer will we use blue liquid in tampon and pad commercials. Following the rupture of our respective eardrums after being nagged to death by the sound of your shrill voices, the men of Ladies’ Choice Feminine Care propose a peace offering.

Ben & Winslow

Chest of Drawers

Cartoon characters wear the same clothes all the time because cartoonists are lazy and don’t feel like deviating from their drawing routine. I’ve doubled down on this laziness by making my characters’ clothes so integral to who they are that you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart if they suddenly started wearing other things. Do they have one outfit that they dutifully wash every night and change into the next morning? Do they have closets filled with identical clothes?

Eileen: This is Your Brain On…

Are YOU Irish Today?

Let’s get ready to celebrate “Ireland’s Second Rate Saint Day!”

Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.

Defenestration’s Schedule of Classes

We here at the Defenestration Inner Council want to let you youngins know that we believe you are unique individuals with so much potential ahead of you. Alas, as we discovered ourselves, the world does not agree. Prepare to be categorized and labeled (oftentimes inappropriately) for the rest of your lives!

Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica

King Toadstool: Portrait of a Tyrant

Koopa Kingdom isn’t an aggressive nation who wishes to destabilize the status quo because “that’s what bad guys do.” In fact, they’re a fledgling resistance, seeking to free all citizens of the world from under the iron fist of King Toadstool.

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