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Defenestration: December 2019

Another year is drawing to a close, and that means we’ve got another fresh issue of Defenestration to share with you (and possibly your family, but not small children, thank you). But we’ve also reached the end of a decade, which is unbeleivable to me, because (1) I have no concept of time and (2) I don’t age. I’m almost exactly like Santa Claus, except don’t have a beard or a belly or a red suit, and I’ve never met an elf except for that one time at the Lord of the Rings convention.

Defenestration: August 2019

Looks like it’s time for another fun-filled issue of Defenestration! That’s assuming you’re into the kind of fun me and Eileen have planned for you, which consists of the eight short stories and three poems below. When the April 2019 issue dropped, I made a joke on Twitter assuring everyone that the issue did not

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Defenestration: April 2019

Welcome, welcome, to the April 2019 issue of Defenestration, an issue that promises more literary references than any other issue this year, unless everyone tries to prove us wrong during our next reading period.

Nonfiction

“There Has Never Been A Perfect Band Name, But These Seven Groups Came So, Damn, Close,” by Warren J. Cox

Like the fountain of youth many have sought the perfect band name, but all have fallen short. However, let us honor now the seven bands that have fallen the LEAST short, and examine how they could have achieved perfection.

Fake Nonfiction

“I’m Dating Hamlet,” by Francine Witte

It’s okay, I’ve dated worse.

Yes, I know he’s fictional. Yes, I know that’s a flaw.

Fiction

“Dividing by Zero,” by Daniel Hudon

In Third Grade, we all hated arithmetic until Mrs. Podolski, with her heavy Polish accent, showed up and briefly cast a numerical spell on us. Mrs. Podolski was a short, stout woman who replaced our regular teacher for two weeks. She wore brilliant floral print dresses and prefaced almost everything she said with, “And now, children.”

Poetry

“Emily Dickinson’s Car Accident Report,” by Ken Macklin

Because I could not stop for Death—
My Honda hit a tree
The state police looked at my car—
And Death began to flee

Ben & Winslow

The Sounds of Spring

The birds have gotten really aggressive lately.