Featured

Defenestration: December 2020

This year was literally filled with death and destruction on a level most of us aren’t used to, but that doesn’t mean humor has been destroyed along with it. Some legitimately hilarious things have happened in 2020, and this month we’re going to pile on an extra helping of hilarious things before the year comes

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Defenestration: August 2020

Hello again, friends and readers and people who stumbled here accidentally, to the August 2020 issue of Defenestration! We were all expecting our lives to be back to normal by now, but here we are, thoroughly abnormal. Normal isn’t a thing anymore. Normal is a historical blip, a tone box in a textbook from 2031,

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Defenestration: April 2020

Remember last year, specifically December 2019, when we were looking forward to 2020 and all the magic associated with a new decade? And then remember when 2020 showed up and Australia immediately burst into flames, and we thought nothing could possibly get worse than this? Boy, was that ever a mistake. I think we tend

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Nonfiction

“No, I don’t want to always use this app when opening files of this type,” by David S. Mitchell

With all the uncertainty in the world today, I am no longer comfortable making any permanent decisions about which applications my smartphone will automatically use to open certain files or links.

Fake Nonfiction

“Lincoln and Darwin Cloned,” by Jordan Prager

Members of the Faith Inspired Cloning Group, (FICG) have long been vexed by the persistent popular belief that Lincoln and Darwin were humanists. FICG leadership is confident that young Lincoln and Darwin clones raised in a sequestered faith-based community will climb to even greater heights than the originals and repudiate their irreligious views. To wit, Lincoln was likely a deist and the adult Darwin gave up Christianity. But for all the care and research FICG has thus far expended on its corrective cloning project, the teenaged versions of Lincoln and Darwin disappoint.

Fiction

“Children of the Nightcap,” by Tim McDaniel

He was a character, apparently. He wore a cape—not one of those little capes that rich people (usually villains) in old movies wore to the opera. This was full-size, and black as night with a red lining. He had a khaki shirt and trousers underneath, and he wore a pith helmet like he was Livingston I presume, going on a safari.

Poetry

Two Poems by Emmy Newman

Last week I discovered it’s hard to say
I love human skin without a lot of weird looks
and party guests pulling sweaters
over shoulders even in too hot rooms.
It’s hard to be cool at parties.

Ben & Winslow

Wipeout

Yeah, this is a comic about toilet paper. It’s even a comic about stockpiling toilet paper. But it is not a comic about the pandemic.