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Defenestration: April 2017

Good morning or possibly afternoon (or night)! Welcome to the April 2017 issue of Defenestration! And if I’m here welcoming you to a new issue, that also means I’m sitting at my computer the night before this issue goes live, wondering what the heck I should be writing about for my editorial. I mean, I could tell you about all the stuff you get to read this month, which may or may not include clown removal, jabberwockies, interesting clothes, dead bodies, ballet, and a bear named Doug.

Defenestration: December 2016

You can’t see me, but I’m rubbing my hands together with sinister glee. Maybe I’m just excited to share this month’s issue of Defenestration with you. Or maybe I’m giddy about leaving this disastrous year behind. Or maybe I’m convinced that time is cyclical and that David Bowie will reappear sometime in early January. Okay, so maybe it’s all three. But this is Defenestration, so let’s talk about that, shall we?

Defenestration: August 2016

Summer has come and gone. Vacations have ended, and schools are gearing up for another year of drudgery. Pools are being filled with dogs, then drained of water (and dogs). Birds are flying back to wherever the heck they normally fly to. Fireflies, too. Also aliens. These are sad, depressing times. But at least we have a new issue of Defenestration to keep us company in the weeks ahead.

Prose

“Clown R&R,” by Kevin Sterne

I’m in the middle of my tuna melt when Wendy tells me she’s got a woman on the line with a clown stuck in her window well. Great.

“Can I call her after my break?” I say with a mouth full of moist tuna.

To which Wendy says, “I’m really sorry but she sounds like hysterics.”

Wendy’s big for her age, her age being about 55—or 20 years my senior—and big being residual body mass from her college rugby days.

I put the rest of my lunch in foil.

Ben & Winslow

Ninja Vanish

So today’s comic is all about ninjas, but I don’t know whether Winslow, Kurt, and Reya have gone back in time to feudal Japan or if they’re sneaking around a modern Japanese castle or what. Does it matter? No.

Eileen: This is Your Brain On…

Are YOU Irish Today?

Let’s get ready to celebrate “Ireland’s Second Rate Saint Day!”

Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.

Expletives in a Glass

I’ve compiled a few recipes for your drinking pleasure over the next unbearable four (eight?) years.

Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica

King Toadstool: Portrait of a Tyrant

Koopa Kingdom isn’t an aggressive nation who wishes to destabilize the status quo because “that’s what bad guys do.” In fact, they’re a fledgling resistance, seeking to free all citizens of the world from under the iron fist of King Toadstool.

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