“Chicken Feet,” by Robert Moll

Mar 13th, 2024 | By

When I was a kid, we had chicken for dinner every Friday night. Shortly after my fifth birthday I figured out how these meals worked: your age determined the part of the chicken you ate. As the youngest, I ate wings. My older brother was assigned drumsticks. My much older sister, white meat.

“How to Hug a Teenager,” by CK Steefel

Mar 6th, 2024 | By

When my twins were toddlers, they fought over me, literally. One time, my son, Dylan, was sitting on my lap and my daughter, Samantha, who was happily playing with a toy on the floor, hoisted herself up and pushed Dylan off my lap as though she was rescuing me from Bigfoot. She then triumphantly climbed on my lap; her toy long forgotten. After soothing a crying Dylan, I took advantage of the teaching moment and explained the concept of sharing.

“Fool Proof,” by David Riessen

Feb 21st, 2024 | By

I walk around the parking lot until I find a plastic shopping bag with the Two Guys Department Store name and logo printed on it. Two Guys sells discount clothes, fake wood furniture, and all sorts of crap – but most important to me, record albums. My dad bought me a compact stereo system as a graduation present ($149 wholesale from a family friend), but I owned no music. So I devised an ingenious plan: The Town of Tonawanda Two Guys Record Heist. It might be relevant to point out that I have plenty of money to buy, rather than steal, records. So why do I do it? Because it’s easy and exciting. And oh yeah, also because I’m an idiot.

“In Remembrance Of My Au Pair, The Poltergeist,” by Katherine Shaw and Cassie Soliday

Jan 31st, 2024 | By

At the tender age of six, Mother introduced me to her Poltergeist. I was confused when she described it as a dark energy, but then she said, “Think of it as an au pair!” and I understood that an invisible French caretaker (who probably wore a beret) had joined our little family.

“Strange Role, Strange Brew,” by Allan Bronner

Jan 24th, 2024 | By

2023 was the fortieth anniversary of my roles in the Bob and Doug McKenzie movie Strange Brew. These were two of the most difficult roles in motion picture history. It’s time the real story was told.