Fake Nonfiction

“Fits and Starts: New Music Concert Jolts and Dazzles,” by Eva Meckna

Jul 27th, 2022 | By

If you weren’t in Dinkmeyer Hall last night you missed a provocative musical experience. Contemporaneus Extraneus Musicus presented, as usual, a memorable mélange of pieces that have expanded the musical universe. The program was entitled “Beyond Nowness,” and it lived up to that extravagant promise as this reviewer found himself several times wishing for the future to arrive.

“Notice to All Employees Regarding the Burger Czar’s Appearance,” by Ken Robey

Jul 6th, 2022 | By

I am pleased to announce that we will be marking our seventh year of operation as a Burger Palace franchise with a gala Grand Opening celebration.  The Burger Palace corporate office has given us the long-awaited green light and has set its massive public relations wheels in motion. The big day will be November 12.  I’m sure we will all find this momentous occasion to be well worth the wait.

“Zookeeping for Dummies,” by Sarah Totton

Jun 29th, 2022 | By

How do you zoo?

It’s easy.

Just follow these simple steps.

“The IKEA Hotline: Please Press 1,” by DS Racer

Jun 22nd, 2022 | By

DISEMBODIED MALE VOICE:  “Hej! Thank you for calling the IKEA Hotline.  We’re here to help you assemble our fine pieces of furniture.  Sustainable living begins at IKEA.  For service in English press one.  Para instrucciones en español, oprima dos. för instruktioner på svenska, tryck tre.”

“Some Buddy to Love: The True Unadulterated Behind-the-Scenes Story of Me & My Buddy,” by Robert Gomez

Jun 15th, 2022 | By

As we near the 25th anniversary of the last episode of Me & Buddy, it’s still impossible to forget its infectious theme (“My buddy, my buddy / Just hanging out with my buddy!”) that played ad nauseum during its opening, transitions, commercial break intros and outros, credits, and often a few times during show, too. Many also remember that the silly though heavy-hearted tone—stemming from the natural chemistry between host, Alan “Bud” Pastoria, and his real-life infant son, Alan “Buddy” Pastoria II—shifted dramatically between the first and second seasons.