Don’t let just the tip of the melting iceberg of the already begun and by every conceivable method of analysis only getting a lot worse in the near future global climate apocalypse stop you from having children. But since there’s a pretty good chance they’ll die from a climate-induced calamity, why not give them a better chance of survival in the Mad Maxwellian near future by bestowing on them a name fit for the head of a cannibalistic death cult that almost certainty awaits them!

A Portland, Oregon, man yesterday apologized for an apparently offensive apology he made earlier in the week. “I realize now that this past apology too ardently articulated a deep remorse for an incident that some did not find offensive in the first place, and I sincerely apologize for offending anyone whom I did not originally offend with my contrition. This is not the man I am,” he said.

You’re doing scenarios in an unconscious bias training in a Zoom breakout room with fifty people and they’ve reminded everyone to make sure you’re wearing the crocs they sent to your house a few days ago. These crocs are someone else’s crocs. They have been worn.

It’s April, 2030, and there is a new home for romance in our town: Hester Prynne’s Sexy Boutique is opening soon at the intersection of Dimmesdale and Chillingworth Avenues! Chock full of whips, cat-o-nine-tails and clothing for the boudoir-curious, the new business owner invites the public into her private space this Friday evening at 6 o’clock, cock-tails to follow.  Prynne’s boutique is just part of a tremendous influx of BIPOC, women- and nonbinary-owned businesses born of this post-Red, rainbow era.

Dear Dr. Yuan: Please provide a few sentences for a biography to be included in our physician profile. Market research tells us that patients research providers on hospital websites before choosing one, and they consider how personal or human you are. We encourage you to write a biography that shows your personality, values, why you practice medicine, etc.