1) Never wear just a negligee. Pair it with some loafers so your feet don’t get cold. 2) Ladies: put on a touch of makeup. Men: slather it on. God knows you need it. 3) Don’t bring a water bottle – it makes you look nervous. Instead, bring a glass of chilled white wine, and

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Obviously this comic is based on the Dr. Seuss book The Cat in the Hat Comes Back. My son is obsessed with it at the moment, and he insists I read it to him twice–sometimes thrice–in one day. I don’t mind, of course. I always liked The Cat in the Hat Comes Back more than its predecessor, The Cat in the Hat. Something about an alphabet’s worth of doppelganger cats in a matryoshka of hats is awesome.

Woke up 7:33 a.m. Urinated, got the coffee maker going.

Hold it. Let me clarify—the urine didn’t get the coffee maker going. I switched the coffee maker on with my hands. After getting out of bed and before turning on the coffee maker, I urinated—in the toilet.

I stood and watched it make coffee. The coffee maker, not the toilet. That would be something, though, wouldn’t it?

The everyday horseless carriage is something many an individual makes use of to live their lives as they trod off to work and perform the duties necessary to keep a house running in tip-top shape. In a perfect world, that’d be all they’d be used for…but it’s not–pretentious jerkbags have decided to use the rear

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This fake movie preview is the natural bridge between the cheesy science fiction movies of the 50s and the so-called “beach party” movies of the early 60s. It has robots! It has bikinis! It has robots wearing bikinis! And since no beach party movie is really a beach party movie without Annette Funicello… it has her, too. Albeit in cartoon form.