The new looks for fall have arrived! This year, the economy being what it is, they’re actually the looks for summer, but with sweaters. Sweaters are very in right now! Try pairing one with the same office-casual shoes you’ve been wearing to work for the last three years, if you still have a job. Speaking of shoes, the ‘re-soled look’ is also very hot this season. There’s nothing like a glimpse of freshly-glued rubber peeping flirtatiously from the bottoms of your worn-out footwear to showcase your sense of style and practicality!

The leash laws in Winslow’s town are very specific. Dogs like George are free to wander the streets without a leash, so long as one or more of their owners are nearby. Abnormally-small-people-not-to-be-confused-with-children-or-dwarves (a term the local law books call ASPNTBCWCODs) are supposed to be leashed whenever they’re outdoors. This law was made specifically for Little Winslow, who is a known biter.

The Toaster

Breadphiles may finally rejoice in this new invention. For years, forced to hold their bread over fire, put it in the oven, or yell at it until it blushed brown with shame, breads fans the world over can now save time and money with what my sources call: “the Toaster.” Compact, lightweight, and able to fit on any countertop, one has to simply place the bread in the machine, depress the mechanical tray, and in minutes, fresh crispy warm toast is ready for whatever sugared spread is local to your town.

He was going to be Batman, and then he was going to be the Lone Ranger, and he even considered being the Man in the Yellow Hat, but his mother was pregnant, and the idea of waiting a year so that his sister could be George was brilliant, so out went the Man in the Yellow Hat, and out went Batman and the Lone Ranger, and one week before Halloween, he asked to be Max.

For your day-before-Halloween (aka “Cabbage Night”) amusement: a drawing! With a ghost and a cigar-smoking ghoul! In a cemetery!