Friends of newly co-habitated couple, Sarah Smith and Jonathan Friend, were shocked this past Friday to learn the dinner party they’d been invited to at the couple’s new apartment was really just an excuse to show off their appliances.

“We were really looking forward to the party,” reports Sasha Liebowitz. “We hadn’t seen either of them in awhile, and who can resist Sarah’s famous stuffed mushrooms?”

“Don’t forget those mini hot dogs,” adds her husband, Seth. “I’d drop anything for one of those.”

If you live in the DC area and take public transportation, you’ve probably seen the hundreds of Lincoln movie posters plastered all over the insides of select Metro stations. And when I say “all over,” I mean “all over every available flat surface.” The posters mainly consist of Abraham Lincoln’s real-life (or maybe imagined-to-be-real-life) quotations and Daniel Day-Lewis’ face. They are impossible to ignore.

Good evening, everyone. My name is Mort Stephenson. I’m the Workshop Coordinator and Director of Interpersonal Relations from Human Resources, and this is my assistant, Jennifer Longley. We’re here with you tonight for a truly historic occasion: Pizza Hut’s very first sensitivity training session for Intergalactic Customer Relations!

I want to emphasize how proud we all are to be part of a forward-thinking organization like Pizza Hut. We are really in there on the ground floor, pioneers ushering in the new age. We don’t know, we really can’t know, what that’s going to look like, but Pizza Hut is going to be ready.

I know, I know – you all were awaiting the final showdown of Strong Female Characters Battle Royale. And trust me, our final two contenders are ready to rumble.  However, I think this is a wonderful opportunity for us to take a pause and ask ourselves the following: Next week is Election Day. And this day

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This strip is based on a misunderstanding my son has about what ghosts say. He thinks they all say “Boom!” but I had to explain to him that most ghosts actually say “Boo!” and that only exploding ghosts say “Boom!” He’s only four, of course, so he hasn’t really encountered ghosts of many varieties. And of course, according to an earlier strip, most ghosts are kids under bedsheets, anyway.