Some bands are made of people. Some are made of robots. And one, just one, was made out of bioengineered cheese monsters.

Dear Mr. Killyouwithfire,

Thank you for submitting your work to Laughing Fire Magazine. Many of the works we publish come from absolute nobodies such as yourself, who have never written anything worthwhile or had even considered writing something that others may actually want to read. Normally, due to the volume of the work we receive, and because we don’t have to, we do not send personal rejection letters to our submitters. However, on this occasion, we feel that an explanation is necessary as (we really hope) it may prevent future rejections and hard feelings.

Dear Jonathan, I’m curious, what’s a typical work day like for you? My friends told me that you’re an ear model, but you seem too down to earth!   A delicate creature (and part-time ear model) has been overcome! ———- Got a question? Email jonathandefenestrates@gmail.com.    

No discussion about superpowers would be complete without a visit from Psychic Rob, who was born with every psychic ability ever. The telekinetic maneuver displayed was instrumental in how he met his wife. It’s also the reason he’s had to move from five different neighborhoods in the past six years.

In: Assonance
Out: Alliteration

In: Burgundy
Out: Bourgogne

In: Calico
Out: Coal tar