IF ( stomach = empty )

THEN ( run action: cry )

IF ( stomach = full )

THEN ( run action: poop )

This is completely hypothetical. It’s also an image.

Dear JANE SMITH

A message from your friends at Peapod. You may shop anytime, anywhere. Our personal shoppers are currently working to assemble your order. We greatly appreciate the trust you place in us.

Sincerely,
The Peapod Team.

In March of 2013, O’Brien University in West Newbridge, NJ had its first chance to use an alert system that enabled campus police officers to notify students of emergency situations via text message. Here is the transcript of that incident:

10:53 am
OU ALERT: Armed man has been spotted near campus Taco Bell ®. Find shelter immediately. Campus police arriving at scene.

In the current economy, many have found it necessary to downsize their living situations. Gone are the days of the ten-thousand-square-foot McMansions. Now people build tiny houses, and try to squeeze all of their belongings into cramped studio apartments.

Daniel Cooper of Miami, Florida recognized this trend early and found a way to take advantage of it. “My buddy Tony was recently down on his luck,” Cooper explains, “He lost his job, his wife, and his house all in the space of a month. Things were getting really rough for him and I couldn’t just stand by and watch without offering to help.”