Posts Tagged ‘ Chris Eversman ’

“New Gym Class Games Coming in 2015,” by Chris Eversman

Mar 18th, 2015 | By

Recent university studies prove what all owners of mirrors already know: America is fat. To cinch up our nation’s ever-expanding waistline, the United States Council for State Mandated Fun & Group Showers requires that the following games be implemented into gym class curriculums for 2015.

“Practical Math,” by Chris Eversman

Dec 17th, 2014 | By

Questions 1-4: Misery. Answer the following story problems using any method you like – provided it’s the method that I want you to use. Each problem is worth enough points to convince you that answering any incorrectly will earn you a grade that sabotages all of your future hopes. Calculators are not permitted.

“Mayor Dude’s Last Speech,” by Chris Eversman

Jun 18th, 2014 | By

Friends, supporters, colleagues, distinguished guests… all people I’d rather see than the degenerates and scumbags seated before me now.

“Weekend Roundup: News From Around the Sporting World,” by Chris Eversman

May 14th, 2014 | By

Polar Bears Trump Polar Vortex
What began as a close contest quickly devolved into a blowout as Polar Bears trounced Polar Vortex 42-9. The League Commissioner said about the game, “Polar Vortex really didn’t have a chance if you ask me. I mean, the Polar Vortex is just some wind… or air… or whatever, and Polar Bears are, well, ferocious bears. I’ll take bears over air every time.”