Day 1: My Brother is Pelting Me with Hershey’s Kisses

Each festive chocolate pulled from the candy dish is swung over the living room planter en route for my head, trunk, or at least a limb. With the older sibling advantage, his aim is precise. For years he has practiced his technique, has mastered the maneuver of recon, sweeping up each fallen missile to prevent a return attack. One eye on the target, one eye scanning the carpet. His arms and legs, a unified machine with one purpose: to annoy.

Just in time for The Hobbit… here’s a comic strip that mentions a character from that novel. HA!

We’re getting close to the end of the year (and maybe the end of the world), and what better way to wrap thing up than with a wedding that’s never going to happen!

You have one hour to complete the following exam.

1. Your best friend asks what you think of her new yellow couch. Which of the following is not an appropriate response?

A) Pointing out that, as a licensed interior designer, you can’t comment until you receive a retainer.
B) Pointing out that the color is “goldenrod,” not yellow.
C) Pointing out that the piece is a “sofa,” not a couch.
D) Pointing out that it is late, and you must be going.

Remember the time (read: the 80s) when phones (the kinds with cords) were made to look like things? Like, you could buy a phone shaped like a shoe or a football, and everyone would marvel at how quirky or eccentric or whimsical you were. Our cell phones haven’t quite reached that phase yet. We can get fancy covers for them, but I don’t think anyone’s designing mass-market cell phones that look like things other than phones. I want a cell phone shaped like a frog or a slice of pizza or… well, a rock.

If I had a talking dog I would train it to have a reasonable debate with the postman rather than viciously attacking him. It could politely ask:

“What are you doing in my garden? Please get out of my garden.”

And the postman would reply:

“Please don’t be cross, I have letters for you, they are replies from all those celebrities you write to.”