Remember that? Remember rollerblading? We used to do that! All the time! We should do that again! C’mon! Let’s go rollerblading!

Yeah, I’m serious. Mine are in that old sports crate in the garage. You know, the one with that empty racquetball can, maroon neoprene elbow sleeve, and my rollerblades! Purchased in 1987, 1991, and 1993, respectively. My kneepads are in there, too, although I didn’t see my wrist guards. I was always losing my wrist guards. Fudge! I bet we could find your rollerblades. I bet we could. Let’s find ‘em!

All of the characters in Ben & Winslow exhibit some sort of exaggerated aspect of my own personality. All of them except Laura, who is the strip’s embodiment of my wife.

The conversation in this strip may have actually happened a few weeks ago. At least that’s what my wife will tell you, but she’s a liar.

Friends of newly co-habitated couple, Sarah Smith and Jonathan Friend, were shocked this past Friday to learn the dinner party they’d been invited to at the couple’s new apartment was really just an excuse to show off their appliances.

“We were really looking forward to the party,” reports Sasha Liebowitz. “We hadn’t seen either of them in awhile, and who can resist Sarah’s famous stuffed mushrooms?”

“Don’t forget those mini hot dogs,” adds her husband, Seth. “I’d drop anything for one of those.”

If you live in the DC area and take public transportation, you’ve probably seen the hundreds of Lincoln movie posters plastered all over the insides of select Metro stations. And when I say “all over,” I mean “all over every available flat surface.” The posters mainly consist of Abraham Lincoln’s real-life (or maybe imagined-to-be-real-life) quotations and Daniel Day-Lewis’ face. They are impossible to ignore.

Good evening, everyone. My name is Mort Stephenson. I’m the Workshop Coordinator and Director of Interpersonal Relations from Human Resources, and this is my assistant, Jennifer Longley. We’re here with you tonight for a truly historic occasion: Pizza Hut’s very first sensitivity training session for Intergalactic Customer Relations!

I want to emphasize how proud we all are to be part of a forward-thinking organization like Pizza Hut. We are really in there on the ground floor, pioneers ushering in the new age. We don’t know, we really can’t know, what that’s going to look like, but Pizza Hut is going to be ready.