We are happy to report that Fitted City made record-breaking sales this year. In particular, we are seeing a massive response to our themed accessories, t-shirts, and especially what we’ve designated as “non-essential, mid-value sub-cultural capital”. Our MVPs this year are the steadfast ironic mustache, the labbit, and the YOLO curio. However, our continued success depends on trend forecasting. Our research team, after much procrastinating and some afternoons dedicated to “just figuring things out in their lives, y’know?”, have come up with the following thematic clusters that ID the latest hipster cachets for 2014/2015.

During the course of our lives, we’re introduced to the people who make up the world around us. From birth, we get to know and love our family, and, if our personality isn’t that of a curmudgeonly old man, we’re lucky enough to find friends whom we care deeply for. These relationships grow and blossom for years to come, but those who you’ve trusted to not poison your meals will inevitably succumb to death.

00 Blankety Blanc, Agnostic Brothers, 1988
“the nothing of whites”, excellent on an empty stomach.

02 Lenin Blanc, State Vineyards, 1917
an active, revolutionary wine with the bouquet of a foxhole.

I’ve been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: New Leaf recently. Correction: I’ve been playing a lot of Animal Crossing: New Leaf lately. And I don’t think I’m the only one, either. Part of me was worried that not enough people would understand today’s comic, but then I realized Animal Crossing is what all the cool kids are playing.

Poetry: Please submit no more than 4 poems at a time. We seek sexualized hybrid work of a confessional nature and a philosophical bent that speak of things that matter such as the hypothetical dreams of rapper Riff Raff and the G-chat conversations from freshman year of college we read and reread until our eyes bleed.