“Submission Guidelines for a New Literary Journal, ‘Neon Taint,'” by Eric Nelson

Jul 10th, 2013 | By | Category: Fake Nonfiction, Prose

Poetry: Please submit no more than 4 poems at a time. We seek sexualized hybrid work of a confessional nature and a philosophical bent that speak of things that matter such as the hypothetical dreams of rapper Riff Raff and the G-chat conversations from freshman year of college we read and reread until our eyes bleed.

Fiction: We are currently only open to experimental Duck Dynasty fan fiction. The maximum word count is 10,000 words. Please submit one story at a time.

Non-Fiction: Closed until further notice.

Reviews: PLEASE QUERY FIRST! We only accept reviews of books by people who are friends with us or authors who will repay the favor. To us. We ask that all reviews be written anonymously to maintain this subjectivity.

We also prefer reviews written in the following formats:

– personal flattery

– lists

– GIFS.

Please read through our archives, Twitter feed and Instagram before sending your work to Neon Taint. For new contributors: when submitting, please include a cover letter, bio, your number of followers on Tumblr, how many Facebook friends you have in common with the editors, and a YouTube link to a video of you playing an ironic ukulele cover of Ke$ha (female) or a headshot of you in a Cosby sweater against a laser backdrop (male- no smiling please!)

Simultaneous submissions will not be accepted. We want you to want us.

Attach submissions in 16 Comics Sans font as .docx files through our submission manager.

Response time is six to nine months. Our reading periods are June and September or during Adderall binges when we print out all submissions and shred them to turn our apartment into a Habitrail. If after nine months there is no response, please consider not only your submission, but also your online brand rejected. Do not submit to us again.

Do not contact us with any questions.

We look forward to reading your work!

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Defenestration-Eric NelsonEric Nelson is the author of The Walt Whitman House and The Silk City Series and is originally from New Jersey. His work has appeared in FanZine, HTMLGIANT, The Billfold, and Volume 1 Brooklyn, among others. His E.P. of recorded stories “They Make a Wasteland, They Call it Pastiche” is being released by Diabetic Koala in summer of 2013.

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