June 2010
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This is a religion for the lazy and the isolationist. In a world full of bad people doing bad things (and also irritating people doing irritating things, and teenagers, and elderly drivers, and people with funny accents, and people with accents that aren’t funny enough), the only solution is to lock yourself away somewhere and ignore everything. Kurt the Cynic understands this. He’s a prophet of… not the end times, but certainly the times that are too bewildering to bother contemplating.

I love dogs, and I dote on my children. But when our daughter started to beg for a dog for her sixteenth birthday, I was determined to resist.

“All I want is a dog. Nothing else. Nothing,” said Charlotte, used to getting her way with her parents. What Charlotte really wanted was a cat, but her father, Jack, claims to be allergic to them. Being resourceful, Charlotte went on the American Kennel Club website to find a breed that was as much like a cat as possible. She found what she was looking for and began to ply me with offhand remarks like “Pomeranians are exceptionally trainable” and “Sixteen is one of the most important birthdays of all.”

We all need to keep up our shapely figures. But this can be hard with the barrage of sweet treats we’re force-fed at work parties. Combine your gorging on ice cream cake for breakfast and that sitting upright has begun to make you wheeze means you might need to reevaluate your current exercise regime. You

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Mexican wrestling is awesome. Everyone wears a mask, so everyone looks like a superhero.

Winslow would like to be a lucha libre superstar, but he needs to bone up on his Spanish a little more.