Dear Friends:

I wish to personally apologize for all that went wrong with our first beekeeping workshop last Saturday at Chauncey Farm.

So. Here were are at last.

It’s time for the April 2014 issue of Defenestration, everyone! Last year Eileen and I took a break from the magazine to rest our fragile bodies and minds. Three months in a chemical bath and several cybernetic upgrades later, we reopened Defenestration to submissions and got back to work. The response was truly humbling. We started getting submissions immediately–and so many were awesome that we ended up holding on to more for consideration than we ever had before. That made choosing the content for this issue a little more difficult than usual, but Eileen and I are professionals and know how to handle these sorts of things. (We never resort to violence, unless that doesn’t work and we’re forced to resort to violence.

As we get older
we seem to get on each other’s nerves

Kit contains:
One shaped sponge
Batteries not included
Three pages of caution notes
and small print

They shared a moment, but he still got the half with the most cranberries. I said, “You know how good friends can just sit and say nothing,” and she said, “Shut up.” He said the medicine “dissipated tumors beyond belief,” and I hope he’s right, because I don’t believe him. After she started watching zombie movies, she made me take a cold shower before we had sex.