1. How many text messages were you able to send before you were seated?
1) we were led to a table at once: the restaurant has clearly lost its buzz
2) I spent my time on Twitter and Facebook
3) five—till the rest of my party showed up, with Margaret late as usual
4) none, because I bribed the hostess with a gift certificate to Masa
5) my iPhone battery died
Adulthood is that monster under your bed you were scared of as a kid, and your only defense was pulling the sheets up over your head, only now the “sheets” are–well, still sheets, as staying in bed all day is amazing and the threat of eviction isn’t that intimidating.
This column isn’t about love, but boyfriends. Terrible boyfriends. The greatest, terrible boyfriends in (great?) literature.
Polar Bears Trump Polar Vortex
What began as a close contest quickly devolved into a blowout as Polar Bears trounced Polar Vortex 42-9. The League Commissioner said about the game, “Polar Vortex really didn’t have a chance if you ask me. I mean, the Polar Vortex is just some wind… or air… or whatever, and Polar Bears are, well, ferocious bears. I’ll take bears over air every time.”
