PSYCHOLOGY 1001—THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (4 credits)—Quite possibly the sluffiest four credits in academic history, this snoozer examines absolutely nothing, and in great detail. Most group discussion will focus on why there actually is a call for such a scholastic fiasco, other than to appease the athletic department. Grading strictly pass-fail, based entirely on attendance. Pre-requisite: PSYCHOLOGY 1000—BEGINNING CLASSROOM SLUMBER.

As you mature you start to make the shift from “barnacle in your parent’s house” to “semi-functional adult” (where most of us remain), all of it culminating in you moving out into the world on your own.

Guys (and I am talking to just the men at the moment, but women are free to listen in): Are you the sort of man who talks to your neighbors in the urinals beside you? I don’t have conversations in public restrooms unless I’m really good friends with the person. I hate it when complete strangers start talking to me while I’m trying to pee.

“A” is for Alcohol-Fueled Affair

“B” is for Birth

“C” is for Childhood

I don’t know if chili cookoffs are normal workplace events, but they’ve happened at my various jobs so I’m assuming these things happen on a regular basis in office buildings around the world.