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Guys (and I am talking to just the men at the moment, but women are free to listen in): Are you the sort of man who talks to your neighbors in the urinals beside you? I don’t have conversations in public restrooms unless I’m really good friends with the person. I hate it when complete strangers start talking to me while I’m trying to pee.

This scenario is one that fills me with dread. What if a guy sidles up to the urinal beside you and started narrating the entire process from start to finish? I mean, once you’re peeing, you’re peeing. It’s not always easy to turn off the tap, so to speak. So you’d be stuck there. Listening. To everything.

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?