All entries by this author

“Lincoln and Darwin Cloned,” by Jordan Prager

Feb 24th, 2021 | By

Members of the Faith Inspired Cloning Group, (FICG) have long been vexed by the persistent popular belief that Lincoln and Darwin were humanists. FICG leadership is confident that young Lincoln and Darwin clones raised in a sequestered faith-based community will climb to even greater heights than the originals and repudiate their irreligious views. To wit, Lincoln was likely a deist and the adult Darwin gave up Christianity. But for all the care and research FICG has thus far expended on its corrective cloning project, the teenaged versions of Lincoln and Darwin disappoint.


Feb 19th, 2021 | By

Yeah, this is a comic about toilet paper. It’s even a comic about stockpiling toilet paper. But it is not a comic about the pandemic.

“Are these tortellini store-bought?” by Steve Dandaneau

Feb 17th, 2021 | By

Store-bought? Blasphemy. The wheat, I harvested it, in the old ways, scythe razor sharp and back firm. The cheese, from cows I first midwifed and nurtured, and once grown, gently milked, and the milk I curdled in my own hands. These tortellini I was first to name, for before me they crossed our lips as spaghetti, or still prior, as sketty, all noodles of the pasta variety subsumed thusly.

Novelette and Novella

Feb 12th, 2021 | By

This is the kind of conversation that goes on when you’re at work and it’s late and you and your coworkers don’t have anything to do.

“A Music Critic Unpacks the Deeper Meaning of ‘Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)’ by C+C Music Factory,” by Luke Roloff

Feb 10th, 2021 | By

Picture a factory. No, not like that. Like a mega metronome fueled by space and time. Billowing smokestacks ascend into the ethers, releasing sonorous aphorisms born of byzantine soothsayers. Turning cogs crank such a hyper neo sea change that your atmosphere reverts to primordial Babylon. There, can you see it now? This is the C+C Music Factory.