All entries by this author

PEZ

Mar 23rd, 2018 | By

I’ve been working very closely with Ben and Winslow, trying to work out some merchandising options. So far Winslow’s only interested in edible stuff. The Ben & Winslow Pez dispenser is still a work in progress, sadly.



“How to Avoid Getting Asked to Be a Bridesmaid,” by Cassie Title

Mar 21st, 2018 | By

First, be antisocial. In kindergarten, when the teacher asks you to share crayons and play nicely with the other children, don’t. There’s no point. You don’t want to be friends with these fools who pick their noses and use their booger-smothered fingers to touch your back when you all play tag at recess. In fact, make sure you don’t play tag at recess.



Walk Hard

Mar 16th, 2018 | By

I feel no shame in admitting that this happens to me. A lot.



“The 5 Most Common Obstacles You’ll Encounter When Transporting Nitroglycerin Across the South American Rainforest (and How to Handle Them): A Field Guide,” by Tyler Austin and Patrick Eme

Mar 14th, 2018 | By

1. Exploding Cargo: This ought to be your biggest concern, as the slightest vibration could lead to you being devoured in a hellish inferno. This is both frequently fatal and deeply inconvenient.



Amateur Romance Novelist

Mar 9th, 2018 | By

Winslow knows that it’s not always easy to try new things, but he also knows that the act of trying new things comes with its own rich rewards…



“The Doll,” by Amaya Duran

Mar 7th, 2018 | By

She was Pocahontas in her school play this year. “Because I’m dark,” she told us. Her hair is black and hangs straight down her bony shoulders. Her hands are small and soft as she pulls me through the hall.

Mariella. She’s my blood and two years older so I listen.



“Army Men Around the House,” by Gareth McGorman

Mar 5th, 2018 | By

———— Gareth McGorman is a scale modeller living in Toronto who commands a small army of 1:35 scale soldiers.



Adventures in Dentistry

Mar 2nd, 2018 | By

Ben’s doctor is a spider and her nurse is a cat, so I felt like it was only natural that Winslow’s dentist would be a bird. I mean, that’s natural around here, at least.



“Zee Cabbage Rules,” by Jon Sindell

Feb 28th, 2018 | By

When your name is Dave Von Hoffenschnitzenberger, you always get asked, “Why don’t you just shorten your name?”

“Shorten it?” I’ll chuckle. “We lengthened it, man. From Hoffman.”



I Scream, You Scream, You Keep Screaming

Feb 23rd, 2018 | By

I hope you all like ice cream! BECAUSE I DO!