All entries by this author

“It Was Futile for Your Employees to Wear Garlic Necklaces: A Vampire’s Post-Job Interview Courtesy Letter,” by Mark Ifanson

Dec 20th, 2024 | By

My pleasant day began with Peter at the front desk, a delightful young man. Notes of turmeric and cardamon, and just the right balance of heat; chicken tikka masala and saag paneer, I believe. It’s a shame he struggled so much, those injuries were totally avoidable.



“Help! A Raccoon Is Spooning My Cat,” by Cody Walzel

Dec 20th, 2024 | By

Hey Cody,

How cute! I’ve never heard of that before. Dr. Silverman wants you to bring your cat in for an exam.

-Sincerely,

Sierra

Twin Pines Animal Hospital



“Lament of a Fourth Grade Goth,” by Stacie Herrington

Dec 20th, 2024 | By

The classroom wall is a journal
that spurns me day after day.
These editors, I swear to God—

Please stop writing about death.
Is everything okay at home?

(How could anything be okay anywhere?)



“Sparring with Sensei,” by Torrey Francis Malek

Dec 20th, 2024 | By

One Saturday afternoon after a sparring session,
my sensei and I shared a sudden lesson
across the two front seats of my hybrid sedan—
another spontaneous spiritual dojo.



“Thank you all for coming,” by Christopher Palmer

Dec 20th, 2024 | By

We considered gathering at the water cooler
(it’s where you spent most of your time)
but decided to have a morning tea
(to honour your homemade muffins).