Posts Tagged ‘ alison burke ’

Fight Club and Other Shit (with Science!)

Mar 4th, 2010 | By

Introduction: My job is stupid.  Don’t get me wrong, I like pay checks and employment, as I lack other methods for collecting said pay check, but working is just dumb.  To clue you in to the environment of my mental personal hell, I’ve included a scene from this mornings antics: Method One: Boss: “Did you

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Turning Tricks with Report Writing

Feb 4th, 2010 | By

I’m a consultant – that means that I was hired by an organization to do a job that the organization hired their own inept worker to do, but when they realized their worker was too lazy to do it, they just shelled out more money to a third party and BAM!  Here I is…. One

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How to Get More Vacation Time (Fired)

Jan 11th, 2010 | By

While working for my corporate overlords, it hasn’t escaped my attention that a huge complaint from co-workers seems to be the lack of available time off. After pondering this for about a few seconds, I started thinking, which I generally reserve for special holidays like Kwanzaa, but I digress. Therefore, I’ve used all of my

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“A-Loan”, by Alison Burke

Aug 20th, 2008 | By

Money should be used for useful things: pants-less man servants, spinning rims, and perhaps a gold and diamond encrusted pizza. Money therefore should not be applied to bone-crushing soul-crunching Caribbean medical school debt. When I first received my beginning payment for my loan, I immediately thought, “I’m going to have to start to hook every

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“New Jersey Slogans,” by Alison Burke

May 20th, 2008 | By

Coming to a Tourism Ad Near You! 1. New Jersey: Finally a state that looks up to West Virginia. 2. New Jersey: Home of the famous wife beaters and beaten wives. 3. New Jersey: The skid mark in America’s underpants. 4. New Jersey: Because A**hole was deemed inappropriate. 5. New Jersey: Best described by Tony

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