Posts Tagged ‘ alison burke ’

Cube Calisthenics

May 2nd, 2011 | By

We all need to keep up our shapely figures. But this can be hard with the barrage of sweet treats we’re force-fed at work parties. Combine your gorging on ice cream cake for breakfast and that sitting upright has begun to make you wheeze means you might need to reevaluate your current exercise regime. You

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Don’t Make Me Go In There: How To Stall In The Public Stall

Apr 5th, 2011 | By

The one thing I hate more than clowns is the public bathroom. I have found some weird shit in the women’s bathroom and some weird stuff as well (see what I did there?). Probably the oddest was when I discovered someone had left a lacy pair of underwear on the toilet. There it was, pissing

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Party Time Is Not Most Excellent

Mar 3rd, 2011 | By

The first thing I think about when I walk into an office party is harakiri. I hate forced social time. Your coworkers, much like your family, are not pickable pals. Usually, I can manage ten minutes of a birthday/holiday/last day party until I reach my breaking point. Then I think of an excuse to leave

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Donner? Party of Four?

Feb 1st, 2011 | By

Ever get to your lunch hour and realize you forgot to bring your lunch AND your wallet? We’ve all been there. And by “there” I mean your desk, where someone stole your lunch and I stole your wallet. (Your driver’s license looks pretty good, considering your face!) So, what do you survive on? You might

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Accept Your Failure with Motivational Kitten Posters

Jan 3rd, 2011 | By

You’ve been working a few years (or a few decades) at your job (aka Slavery Incorporated) and, like me, you have yet to decorate the prison cell your boss keeps telling you is your cubicle. Like Bernie Madoff, it’s time to resign to your fate, bend over and take out some knick-knacks to make your

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