You know what’s truly scary? The fact that the birth control pill is only 99.9% effective. Wait, that means that one in a thousand times I should get pregnant anyway, right? That’s not really very heartening. If I entered a contest to win a car and the odds were one in a thousand, I would think, hey, I’ve got a pretty decent chance of winning this car. Except that car is an unwanted fetus!
There once was a time when people enjoyed getting their news printed on paper and a day late. But now it’s all about the online news cycle that delivers information to us in “real time,” because time is now real. How can a journalist looking to break the next big story stay competitive? Simple: the secret is to make the news happen yourself. Read through these sample interviews to see how it’s done!
Hello, my name is Nick Hilbourn, a professional English major.
If you’re like me, then you see women every day. Sometimes, twice a day. If you’re a woman, then you should probably double that number.
Yet, I am still shocked by the amount of misinformation about women’s bodies. I ignored this ignorance with a god-like patience until the last election, when the comments of some friends regarding the female body really threw me for a loop.
In the multiverse, Earth can be a wonderful place to live, and for most people is a definitive place to die. Still, despite these near certainties, there are many misunderstood points about life on our planet, and although technology has helped us better explore the mysteries of the universe, it has not provided all the answers, like why we feel lonelier the more we use it.
For example, the planet is set on vibrate and earthquakes are text messages from God. Unfortunately, no one has yet figured out how to read them on plate tectonics or when God will send another message (if He’s angry or trying to rekindle what has been, since its inception, an on-again/off-again relationship). There is less confusion over whether or not rainfall represents God’s tears. It doesn’t.
I’ve had sewage on my mind since watching the Cohen Brothers True Grit. Early in the movie, Matty Ross’s search for Rooster Cogburn leads her to an outhouse. When she knocks on the door, we hear Jeff Bridges’ Rooster growl from inside: “The jakes is occupied.” She knocks again, and he says again, with even more gravel, “I said the jakes is occupied.”
“The jakes” is a term I remember from my Shakespeare. And here it is, in a Hollywood movie. It is just the beginning of the linguistic weirdness of True Grit. (The lingo they use. And where’d the contractions go?) For me, it is love at first shite.