Polar Bears Trump Polar Vortex
What began as a close contest quickly devolved into a blowout as Polar Bears trounced Polar Vortex 42-9. The League Commissioner said about the game, “Polar Vortex really didn’t have a chance if you ask me. I mean, the Polar Vortex is just some wind… or air… or whatever, and Polar Bears are, well, ferocious bears. I’ll take bears over air every time.”

Millions love the Paleo or “Cave Man” Diet. Early humans lived in sync with nature, and so they were healthier, remaining free from cancer, heart disease, and obesity until dying in their thirties from predation or childbirth. For that great beach body, you can’t go wrong eating the same cauliflower bisques and gluten-free cookies as our hunter-gatherer ancestors. But why limit yourself to one time period? History provides us with an exciting array of dieting options.

The celebrity memoir that doesn’t live up to its expectations has become as ubiquitous as the genre itself. Even more disappointing are the tell-alls penned by authors looking to cash-in on their often-tenuous associations to figures of public curiosity.

Rarely do these books by jilted lovers, former friends or estranged children deliver on their claims.

Dear Friends:

I wish to personally apologize for all that went wrong with our first beekeeping workshop last Saturday at Chauncey Farm.

Someone let it slip to me about two weeks ago now. And it’s damn near driven me insane. They let it slip so casually too, like they’d said nothing interesting.

“The elderly love feeding the ducks.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean?