“Author Bios,” by Andrew S. Taylor

Jul 31st, 2013 | By | Category: Fake Nonfiction, Prose

Tabitha Nostrand resides in a small farming community near the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York, with her partner, three cats, four dogs, a jackrabbit, and a stoat (look it up).  Her day job involves repairing tractor engines.  Her night job involves her partner, Glenda.  Her new novella, The Sweet Dark Envelope, will appear this fall in the Androgyrotic 6 anthology from Northern Mascot Press.

Jolene K. Farrington lives in an uncharted region of southern Georgia.  When not penning tales of dark fantasy and horror, she designs clothing for the American Gothic Lolita line.  You are warned that her tales of misery, bloodlust, and infamy have appeared in The Purple Host, Flying Dutchman Quarterly, Skillset, Scurrilous Jackanape, Frightful Pants, Tobermory, Wormwood Stories, Tiptree Review, Anabolic, Underground Samantha, Ape & Essence, Trigger Lust, Usury & Buggery, Deadly Trademark, Hopscotch, Tarr and Fether’s Incendiary Review, and Skivvies.  She lives with her husband Vincent and an albino raven named Yukio Mishima.

Janet Transformer is the nom-de-plume of a post-modernist collective of experimental writers who live in a small commune at an undisclosed location.  Her-their work(s) delve into questions of identity and memory, and seek the re-discovery, through collective linguistic projects and poly-erotic rituals, of all twelve human genders.  This greater ongoing project has been (anti-) Christened The Inverse Symposium, of which the above work is only a small excerpt.   Janet Transformer’s writing has invaded such bourgeois publications as Sphincter, (Re)Vision, Apples After Eve, (Un)Rapt, Apoplexy, Labial Godhead, Lisp of a Vagrant Capacitor, Kierkegaard Despair Lattice, (On) Sight, Lost Margins, and Formication.

Torrence Bilson has taught ESL classes in Japan, China, Vietnam, Thailand, India, and Brazil.  He currently resides in Uzbekistan.  His erotic fiction has gently and lovingly graced the soft pages of Deviant Shank, Vox Animalia, Little Death Quarterly, and Six Quills in the Windstorm.  He has self-published three novels, Purloined, Wild Shelter, and The Naked Mouse.  You are welcome to write to him.  You may send pictures.

Eugenia K. Hughes is currently finishing her English degree at Kent State.  She imagines herself ten years hence as a hybrid creature, equal parts Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, and Marilyn Manson.  The only question that remains is how many of her piercings and tattoos will be publicly visible.  She believes that this is a question to be put to society, rather than herself.  “I Am Curious Yellow Wallpaper” is her first published story.

Penelope Crome inhabits New York City.  New York City also inhabits Penelope Crome.  Its collective consciousness has passed through her to be reborn in the form of dry ink and radiant plasma.  Blood, she notes, is plasma, and blood is sometimes used as ink, but now plasma is television, which inhabits the people who inhabit New York City within Penelope Crome’s bleeding heart.  As you read this, you are therefore watching television, the radiant living tissue that circulates through the city within Penelope Crome, and your television is bleeding out through your eyes.

Crome received the H.P. Succubus award for her novella “One Fine Day in the Death Cubicle,” published by Hack Street Pamphleteers.

Stan M. Vinton is the author of the novel Rot.  He lives in Weehawken, New Jersey.  He has a fine view of Manhattan but remains single.

Velocity Swanson it still trying to escape the virtual engram in which he is now trapped, an artificial cosmos modeled on an unpublished Thomas Pynchon novel.  From this region of shadows and modernist jazz, where differential equations drip like molasses across the skin of naked mod-girls, where telephone directories contain divine matrices when ciphered though backwards-masked transmissions from Nazi Enigma coding devices, where a mysterious dwarf named Alpo Trammel can manipulate the temperature controls of refrigerators by mental force alone and municipal bus drivers dream of ghostly overpasses like vast arteries surging with electric souls, Swanson writes.  Alone but never lonely, his unspeakably beautiful muse often hovers behind him, leaving occasional wispy feathers on his shoulders.

He escapes from his prison, in algorithmic fragments of semi-consciousness, via the dark spaces in your computer monitor formed by online text.

He writes that “Fresh Cuts” was inspired by his memories of licorice, sex, and western Massachusetts.  He is currently seeking publication for his novel, All Eight Reported Blue-Green Magnan Heroes, which is all about parrots.

Stan H. Gormless lives in Providence, Rhode Island.  He has worked as a shrimp polisher, mask-builder, airport semaphore technician, hazard cone salesman, dental lawyer, acrobat therapist, dolphin trainer, headhunter, foot doctor, diplomat, diamond thief, prison inmate, porn-actor fluffer, planarian breeder, night-shift emergency welder, manager of a Cambodian towel factory, opium grower, computer aesthete, barber, drug-sniffing dog trainer, rat catcher, oatmeal cutter, lobster critic, nipple photographer, pastry architect, undercover investigator for the RSPCA, vegetable sketch artist, and an industrial consultant in bubble optics.  He also served for five years as the weekly humor columnist for the Journal of Fluid Dynamics.  He holds an M.F.A. in creative writing from Your Mom.


Defenestration-Andrew S. TaylorAndrew S. Taylor has, to date, published 30 works of fiction, 40 essays, 5 book reviews, 6 interviews with rock bands, several articles for unappreciative anime fan magazines, one interview with an author he really respects but who only rarely responds to his emails nowadays, and over 100 “capsule” reviews of the latest digital droppings from privileged hipster musicians for an obscure music magazine.  If he were to add up all the money he has earned from his literary labors, he would have just enough money to buy an extremely shitty automobile, or a very nice bicycle.  He is inexplicably married and lives in New York City.  He apologizes in advance for having recently become a licensed attorney.  He maintains the world’s most infrequently updated author blog at http://fablesandriddles.blogspot.com/.  He is, at the moment of this writing, sitting next to an alarmingly large orchid.  It just keeps growing.  Why, why does it keep growing?

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