In last month’s column, eight fascinating fictional ladies were selected to fight to the pain in the first ever Strong Female Characters (SFC): Battle Royale. This month, the fight begins!

But first, a quick side note. Todd Aiken, your despicable comments about “legitimate rape” has not gone unnoticed. You have been officially added the official SFC Shit List along with other horrible examples of humanity, including but not limited to: Charlie Sheen, Bristol Palin, Daniel Tosh and Dan Cathy.

There are so many reasons to come teach at Dark Canyon Community College.

You want to test yourself under pressure? We got the pressure to test you. We don’t offer tenure to any of our teachers. We call it keeping educators on their toes.

I have a confession to make: I’m 31 years old, and I love the Pokemon games.

I decided to do today’s strip when I realized how easy it was to make blend the names of my characters with those of several first-generation Pokemon. Once I figured out how each of them would look, I had Apsara (dressed as Jessie from Team Rocket) face off against Laura (dressed as Pokemon trainer Ash). It’s an incredibly goofy and geeky idea, but I like the way it came out, so whatever.

Every catastrophic event starts the same way:the villain devises a new scheme that will grant him dominance over humanity, and unleashes his/her plan on the hapless citizens on the same metropolitan area they have numerous times in the past. The relative peace and quiet of the city streets is shattered as a giant beam of death fires out from across the river and slices a skyscraper in two. Those on the street turn their gaze upward and quickly come to terms with their own death as they drop to the ground, huddle over loved ones, and clench their eyes shut as they brace for the impact.

Hello there, friends (and probably relatives), welcome to the August 2012 issue of Defenestration!

You’ll no doubt notice that this issue is short. Not short on content: we have five short stories and seven poems for you to enjoy this month. However, each of the short stories are flash fiction pieces. We didn’t really plan it out that way, but I don’t think you’ll mind. Characters included this month include a lovesick pharmacist, a digital daughter, a naked revolutionary, and a disillusioned science fiction writer. See for yourself! All the stories and poems can be found in the links below, or read together in the downloadable PDF copy.

I should add that this month’s issue contains strong language and sexual themes. That will probably just make you want to read it more, but I figured I should warn you all the same, so you’re not shocked and embarrassed. I can see you blushing already. Good. Get it out of your system now.