Fright Handed
Jul 22nd, 2016 | By Defenestration
Looks like that fairy Winslow was keeping in a bottle didn’t drown in raspberry jam after all.
Looks like that fairy Winslow was keeping in a bottle didn’t drown in raspberry jam after all.
EXT. SENATE STEPS—DAY SENATOR WILSON: (Gazes at American flag waving overhead, takes deep breath.) My first day as a freshman senator. Well, here goes nothing! Cut to INT. SENATE FLOOR—DAY (SENATOR WILSON takes seat, smiling nervously. SENATOR SMITH sits next to her, extends hand.) SENATOR SMITH: Wayne Smith, Texas. You new here? SENATOR WILSON: Yeah,
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The Legend of Zelda games are always weird because the people you talk to always expect you to have an empty bottle with you. The grocery store doesn’t expect me to have my own bottle when I want to buy water or milk or soda, but they haven’t figured out how to mass produce bottles in Hyrule. There’s usually only like three of the stupid things in the whole country. Winslow clearly would find ways around these obvious storage deficiencies.
My wife Carol said something really sweet and profound to me the other day. I wish I’d muted the TV long enough to catch it all.
Carol starts every day by saying, “I love you.” I respond by asking her who she’s on the phone with.
Word to the wise: Any store that only has three items on display is bound to have extra stuff behind the counter. It’s just a matter of knowing what you want. This particular store may look like it specializes in keys and candles and empty bottles, but the owner secretly sells organs on the black market. Sweet, delicious organs. Winslow likes eating them on the spot, but it’s much better to put the hearts into a container to eat back home.