I had the strangest dream last night. I was running through a Beauty and the Beast-esque castle while being chased by a cartoon policeman. A life-long lucid dreamer, I immediately knew this was a dream, not because the law was on my heels in a Disney-inspired castle, but because I was too tall—a miraculous six feet—and also deaf. I was carrying a small grey backpack with a frozen baby inside it. Despite being rock solid in its frozen cage, the baby was somehow alive. My mission was to take it to a magical fridge which could save its life.

For your Sunday enjoyment… a comic!

The Mesozoic Era, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, was followed by a brief, embarrassing phase in which one species somehow became dominant: homo sapiens, or “humans.” Humans were mammals who lived on land and watched YouTube.

We first learned about humans when Dr. Martin Hardshell, a forensic crustalogist, was digging in Ancient Philadelphia with his own two claws. Our understanding of world history was fundamentally altered by his discovery of the Fishtown Ukulele and the Manayunk Toupee.

For your Sunday amusement… a comic!

Sometimes, on the verge of a depressive episode, I go online and look at the Arby’s menu as a way to ground myself. It’s a unique methodology of acknowledging the past, the 5 for $5 deal exemplifying just how distant my childhood has become, while also challenging myself to relinquish control by embracing the inherent uncertainty that tomorrow guarantees: Arby’s has introduced Steak Nuggets.