The “monster hands” curse didn’t seem to work on Kurt at all, but once Winslow touched an actual human person, things got bad. Really bad. Now poor Apsara has turned into the fire-breathing monster Apsauron! I smell a rampage coming on…

After a bitter cold Winter, and inexplicably dry Spring, Summer has made its return to the Mid-Atlantic region, otherwise known as America’s sweaty armpit.

Comment section for You Tube video Qvst3rtY67: German Heavy Metal Band Schicklgruber’s Mustache–New song “Where is My Lighter, I Have No Cigarette”

Dumbguy60: I love German power metal.

JayJay: Power metal? Were your ears torn off by a weasel? This is obviously symphonic metal.

CrowbarsAreFun: I thought it was doom metal.

Bob: This is awful

Looks like that fairy Winslow was keeping in a bottle didn’t drown in raspberry jam after all.

EXT. SENATE STEPS—DAY SENATOR WILSON: (Gazes at American flag waving overhead, takes deep breath.) My first day as a freshman senator. Well, here goes nothing! Cut to INT. SENATE FLOOR—DAY (SENATOR WILSON takes seat, smiling nervously. SENATOR SMITH sits next to her, extends hand.) SENATOR SMITH: Wayne Smith, Texas. You new here? SENATOR WILSON: Yeah,

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