Archive for June 2016
Jun 29th, 2016 |
By Defenestration
#13: Day / night indicator, indicates whether it is day or night in the vicinity where you are. You must first set dial “B” though, so that the watch knows which time zone you are in and dial “E” so that it knows whether or not your zone uses daylight savings time. One way to check whether you have correctly set dials “B” and “E” is by going outside and looking at the sky. You may also utilize a window looking toward the outdoors for this same purpose if one is available.
Posted in Fake Nonfiction, Prose |
Comments Off on “Just a Few of the Many Functions of My Manly Watch,” Nicholas Roth
Tags: Fake Nonfiction, Nicholas Roth, Prose
Jun 24th, 2016 |
By Defenestration
Is it me, or has the term “plus-size model” been thrown around a lot recently? Usually in phrases like “Such-and-such magazine just put a plus-size model on its cover!” or “So-and-so just hired a plus-size model for such-and-such project!” I can’t tell whether the people involved are genuinely excited or just patting themselves on the back for being so modern and inclusive.
Posted in Ben & Winslow |
Comments Off on Nonplussed
Tags: andrew kaye, Ben & Winslow
Jun 22nd, 2016 |
By Defenestration
A giant shark-eating mosasaur kept in a lagoon like a gold fish in a bowl. A tyrannosaurus rex confined to a terrarium as if it were a mere iguana. Hundreds upon hundreds of pterodactyls crammed into an aviary like so many chickens at a factory farm. These are the deplorable conditions PETA found during an undercover investigation of the dinosaur exploiting theme park Jurassic World. And we cannot stress enough just how many pterodactyls were in that aviary.
Posted in Fake Nonfiction, Prose |
Comments Off on “Statement From PETA: Deplorable Conditions for Dinosaurs at Jurassic World, Especially the Thousands of Pterodactyls,” by Michael Jungman
Tags: Fake Nonfiction, Michael Jungman, Prose
Jun 17th, 2016 |
By Defenestration
Hair is a rarity among males of whatever the heck species Ben and Winslow are supposed to be. You’ve no doubt noticed that all the men in these comics are totally bald, while the women enjoy hair of many colors and styles. It’s something that hasn’t sat well with Ben since the very earliest stages of this comic. I can’t say I blame the guy. Hair can be pretty awesome. Also, sometimes hair can be a monkey.
Posted in Ben & Winslow |
Comments Off on Hair, Apparently
Tags: andrew kaye, Ben & Winslow
Jun 15th, 2016 |
By Defenestration
During this time, all books were Harry Potter. There wasn’t a government edict or anything. It just happened over time. No one missed the dusting, although most people still owned real copies of the seven books. There’s just something about a real book.
Posted in Fake Nonfiction, Prose |
Comments Off on “Hogwartitarinism or The Harry Potter Era of World Letters,” by Kelly Kathleen Ferguson
Tags: Fake Nonfiction, Kelly Kathleen Ferguson, Prose