Professor Tennyson Enthide Pennywhistle III invented dinner at the beginning of the 20th century. Before his marvelous invention, people only ate two meals a day: breakfast and lunch. Most people in those dismal days ate massive lunches and fell asleep shortly before 3 PM, and not a lot of work got done. Professor Pennywhistle’s invention is credited with helping along the 20th century’s greatest inventions, which, thanks to dinner, were all invented at precisely 7:03 PM. Not many people know this. Professor Pennywhistle doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.

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1st Course: Hors D’oeurve   Wells Tower’s Salmon Cutlets, Ravaged and Burned Ingredients:  1 salmon filet, 2 tablespoons olive oil, 2 cloves garlic, fresh dill, 2 lemons, salt, male angst, Viking helmet Put on your Viking helmet. Savagely cut salmon filet into long strips and then mercilessly mince garlic cloves and shred dill. Adjust your

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Time travel is an excuse to relive Winslow’s most uncomfortable moments, even if they only happened a few months ago.

1. How many text messages were you able to send before you were seated?

1) we were led to a table at once: the restaurant has clearly lost its buzz
2) I spent my time on Twitter and Facebook
3) five—till the rest of my party showed up, with Margaret late as usual
4) none, because I bribed the hostess with a gift certificate to Masa
5) my iPhone battery died