Prose

“Floods,” by Heather Robinson

Apr 20th, 2020 | By

Hi, it’s mom. Where are you? Because I’ve got a leak here. It’s pouring down from upstairs into the front hall. Thank God I found two pots under the sink. Why did you hide them there?  They’ve never been there before. Every week you sneak in here and hide my things. I found my toothbrush on top of the piano and my teabags in the bathroom cupboard. I suppose you find that funny.



“Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s ‘The Little Blintz,'” by Rebecca Coffey

Apr 20th, 2020 | By

Ingredients

– A Boa constrictor digesting an Elephant.

– Baobabs.

– Other assorted characters (see below).



“Corpse,” by John O.

Apr 20th, 2020 | By

The first thing that goes is your sense of time. Your internal clock. Your circadian rhythm. In the long term, disruption of the circadian rhythm can lead to serious health issues such as chronic fatigue, diabetes, obesity, and clinical depression. This is not our concern- I am at peak physical and mental fitness and my blood sugar is stable. I do almost wish I felt fatigued, chronically, even, as I am a nervous wreck, though I suppose those two things are not mutually exclusive.



“Humanize Maybe?” by Tim Miller

Apr 15th, 2020 | By

Not all that long ago, I attended a professional development session at my school with the purpose of the training to address the following question: What to do in the event of an active shooter?

Nothing is remotely funny or humorous about active shooters and the reality that public schools need to train their employees for the potential of such an event.

However. There was something that I did in fact find humorous during the training.



“Five Etiquette Tips for Young Ladies of Today,” by Abigail King

Apr 8th, 2020 | By

If a gentleman places his hand on your knee under the table at a dinner party with the intention of signaling you to shut up, stab him immediately in the eye with a fork (salad fork, place fork, oyster fork or dessert fork are equally apropos).  Use sufficient force to penetrate the meniscus. If eyeball juice squirts onto your food, discreetly push your plate to the side and wave the server over to replace your tainted victuals.