”The Comedy of Hair-rors,” by Katharine Pollock

Jun 2nd, 2021 | By

My first reaction to growing body hair was pride. I noticed a spreading of downy hair across my lower legs, and I wanted to let it grow forever, becoming thicker and darker until I could clasp it in my hands, like Arwen’s silky smooth elven tresses in The Lord of the Rings. I stroked my legs as the hair grew more resplendent, happy to be maturing, and blissfully ignorant of the other developments that would follow in rapid succession; acne, bad posture, and worse eyesight.

“Trust me, Dads. Sit Down to Pee,” by Christopher Goodrich

May 26th, 2021 | By

If you are like me, you are a balding, fairly awesome-without-bragging-about-it dad, who must, at times, make the bathroom your friend. I don’t have to tell you that privacy is as rare as feeling energized by parenthood. I’ve literally had meals in there. Three courses. And more than once on a given day. And even so, they are on to me. They know my secrets. And they are not amused. 

“How to Shoot and Sink Your Shot: A Manual for Online Dating,” by Adina Ferguson

May 19th, 2021 | By

So, you’re five years into this online dating thing and still can’t figure out the algorithm, eh? Tired of being left on read or worse, attracting women who just want sex? Sir, you deserve better. And Online Dating Using Sports Analogies for Dummies is the perfect guide to getting a “W” and beautiful trophy your nana will love. So, grab your flavored electrolytes, and open your book to Chapter 1. 

“Machination,” by Ivanka Fear

May 5th, 2021 | By

One day machines will take over the world. Or so I’ve been hearing ever since I was a child. This myth has been circulated for so long that there are those who have actually come to believe it. It’s ridiculous, really, how easily some people are hoodwinked.

“D&D,” by Jaimen Shires

Apr 28th, 2021 | By

I played in a D&D campaign, once, as a teen. It didn’t go well. Dungeons and Dragons? It was mainly drinks and drugs. I don’t think we made it to any dungeons and I’m certain there was never a dragon.