“Single Pink Grapefruit Seeking Trampoline for Out-of-This-World Adventure,” by Julie Willis

Sep 4th, 2019 | By

If you’d asked me before I had kids whether I would want kids with imagination or “normal” kids, I’d have said imaginative kids. Who wouldn’t?

“Call Me By Your Name,” By Holly Laurent

Aug 7th, 2019 | By

I used to love it when, upon re-entering the country after traveling abroad, I’d get a customs agent who’d stamp my passport, look up and say, “Welcome home Ms. Laurent.” I’ve been traveling a lot lately and with strangers I use a fake name. Josephine. Online I’ve started using the moniker Howard LaGrunt. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s a protection mechanism, maybe it feels like my name is irrelevant, or maybe my name is just nobody’s bee’s wax. I was standing in a TSA line this week holding my boarding pass and I.D. and as I looked at my license it felt like I didn’t recognize my own name.

“Puberty, I Hardly Knew Thee,” by Ali Kashkouli

Jul 31st, 2019 | By

Every school year would end the same way. Signing yearbooks. Exchanging telephone numbers. Telling people that we should totally hang out over the summer and then never seeing or speaking to them again. I would look my peers in the eye while saying my goodbyes and think, “This is the summer where I break the five-foot barrier. You wait and see.” And every summer I would return from break to find that the exact opposite had happened; everyone had sprouted upward and I had remained the same size. Year after year. The same thing.

“Fix Your Chronically Ill Friends in 99 Words or Less,” by Liz Charlotte Grant

Jul 3rd, 2019 | By

Me too! OMFG that exact thing happened to me this one time, it’s EXACTLY like your thing, I swear, it’s so CRAZY that we both have your thing going on. #twinning!

“Testament to Testicles,” by Chana Feinstein

Jun 12th, 2019 | By

Now penises are fine. I’m good with penises. Let me be clear: The penis is my friend. A penis makes sense. Cylindrical, aerodynamic, smooth—clearly designed for job.