Roids, juice, gym candy, muscle crack, vitamin T, anabolic angel dust, the devil’s apple juice. Whether it be for crushing baseballs or crushing pussy, every guy thinks about taking steroids at least once in his life, and if you’re reading this it’s because you’ve hit that crossroads in your life.

Everyone dreams of having a movie star body, but looking like Brad Pitt or Kevin James takes hard work and dedication. I can get you there. My name is Dr. Crash Carter and this is my Crash Course in fitness. I am a certified personal trainer, I have 4% body fat, and I haven’t even smelled a cheeseburger in thirteen years. In my Crash Course you will learn how to live a healthy lifestyle, have the body you’ve always wanted, and finally defeat Shao Khan in Mortal Kombat II. Be warned, complete transformations do not occur overnight. It may take two, even three days before you reach your goals, so be ready for the long haul.