Fake Nonfiction

“The Honor of Our Rejection,” by R. C. Barajas

Jul 21st, 2021 | By

We appreciate your faith in SHR to give your story the careful reading it deserves. Thank you for considering us. Please believe that reading this kind of unsolicited submission is a task we do not take upon our cardigan-clad shoulders without full acknowledgment of the heft of our responsibility. There is not a waking moment in which we do not gratefully hitch our hearts to the wagons of editorial duty and whip the steeds of literary glorification into a lather of somber consideration.



“The Best Red Velvet Cake Around,” by Shelli Frew

Jul 7th, 2021 | By

Now, I know what you’re thinkin’: “The best red velvet cake? Can’t be the best, what about Little Debbie?”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love me a Little Debbie cake, as much as the next red-blooded southerner. But this recipe, passed down to me by my meemaw, Dorothy Birdie, is better than anything Little Debbie could bake. It’s sure to delight anyone come round for tea.



“Release Your Stress at ScreamFest!” by Chelsea Stickle

Jun 23rd, 2021 | By

Feeling trapped? Angry at the world? Done with everyone’s bullshit? Then come on down to ScreamFest, where the only limits are your lung capacity!



“Coff-It-Up!: Your #1 Specialty Coffee Specialists,” by Nolan Yard

May 12th, 2021 | By

Here at Coff-It-Up! Coffee, Inc. we specialize in a prodigious number of specialty roasts. We are looking to be as ubiquitous as your struggles to stay awake throughout the day!



“Pranking Abraham,” by Duncan Lamont

Apr 7th, 2021 | By

Dear Todd,

Please stop pranking my dad. He thinks the walkie-talkie you hid in his room is the voice of God. You know how religious he is. I admit, it was funny when you told him to buy Whiteclaws for Kathy’s party because ‘God was feeling thirsty.’ But this has gotten out of hand.