All entries by this author

“The Perfect Open Mic,” by Casey “Rocket” Rohlen

Dec 4th, 2019 | By

Open mics are to self-help what Columbine was to school spirit: A step in the wrong direction.

Big laugh. Meta as hell. Enough time has passed to where it works. Crowd loves it. They carry me out of there like Rudy.



“Dr. Seuss Does Open Heart Surgery,” by Erik Jasek

Dec 1st, 2019 | By

For your Sunday enjoyment: a comic!



The 1900s Want Their Comic Prop Back

Nov 29th, 2019 | By

I don’t know why these aren’t popular anymore.



“How to Become Marriage Material,” by Sheyda Demooei

Nov 27th, 2019 | By

You’re a single woman over the age of 25 with an unnatural desire for independence. Words such as shriveled, aging uterus, and embryo cryopreservation are appearing more frequently in your family’s daily conversation. You often feel guilty for not having produced a grandchild to brighten up your parent’s monotonous post-retirement life. You’ve powered through a series of bad dates to find your ideal partner only to be abruptly abandoned two years later with a casual “I don’t know what’s wrong but something doesn’t feel right” as a reason.



“New York Times Obituary Rough Drafts,” by Ken Carlson

Nov 20th, 2019 | By

Miriam Fungeltrap, 81, Dies; Discovered Important Strain of Bacteria.