Kurt has had a very active dating life, so this particular pairing really doesn’t surprise me at all. This relationship might actually work out as long as he stays away from milk and always carries an umbrella.

Privyet! Thank you for joining me on Facebook or YouTube. Now let me ask you: have you checked your bank account balance lately, Johnny or Joanna? Your nest egg is at the mercy of a government that may plunge the economy into a depression any day. If I were you, instead of a cyberbot activated by the Kremlin, I’d travel to Washington and storm the offices of the Federal Reserve, causing as much healthy mayhem as possible. Like the ritual of self-outing that you innocent and fun-loving westerners call full disclosure, it’s the American way.

Don’t try this at home, kids.

It’s not every day a highly specialized composting toilet is purchased as a wedding gift. I mean, nothing says “this marriage is forever!” quite like a composting toilet. But alas, much like seeing undigested corn in my fecal containment area, I was confused by a lot of things in your marriage.

———– Papercuts are the worst. I gave myself a really nasty one when I was cleaning up my old house as I prepared to move into my new one. I did exactly what Winslow does here: I reached into a box filled with papers without really paying attention and gave myself one helluva papercut. And

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Celebrated Bayville Middle School substitute teacher, Charlie Craver, is at the center of some controversy recently, after accidentally exposing himself to a student as she was cutting across his property on her way home from the bus stop.

I drew this after listening to some Blue Oyster Cult. I can’t imagine why.

FRIDAY ME: Walking into the office just now, I felt this unexpected rush of gratitude and optimism. I can’t pinpoint why, exactly. Maybe it was the flowers in the courtyard or the friendly faces of our co-workers. Whatever the case, I’m so happy to be alive and to have this job, and I can truly say to you, “Good morning, brother.”

Winslow isn’t wasteful when it comes to food preparation. After squeezing the juice out of a mermaid for a refreshing glass of merm-ade (perfect for those hot summer days on the beach or wherever else good times are had), Winslow likes to take the leftovers and cook them into a nice omelet. They’re great for breakfast, lunch, and even dinner.

In many ways, Andy Nosticia is your average college graduate. He has a menial office job, still hasn’t figured out why his company faxes anything, is severely disillusioned, drinks his wine from a coffee mug because all his other dishes are dirty, and of course, he doesn’t have his shit together.