Winslow puts up this sign at every party he’s ever thrown. It gives him a way to claim whatever gets left behind without resorting to the ridiculous lost-and-found box Ben keeps in the hall closet next to the large Tupperware bin full of craft supplies. Winslow has amassed quite a collection of abandoned items: watches, jewelry, cell phones, underpants.
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It’s no secret that Paris is one of the world’s truly magical getaway destinations. Renowned far and wide for its art, culture, and world-class dining, a Parisian vacation will soon have even the Beastliest visitor overcome by its Beauty. But in a city cock-full of so many amazing things to see, do and eat, how can anyone be sure that they’re making the most of their European adventure? Well, fear not “mon ami”—I’ve just gotten back from a three-day, two-night stay in “The City By The Lights,” and I’ve compiled the ultimate Insider’s Guide that will soon have you cheering “oui oui!” just like you were a local!
I’ve compiled a few recipes for your drinking pleasure over the next unbearable four (eight?) years.
I don’t even know why Ben would ask Winslow this kind of question. Of course Winslow’s ready for the party. He’s ready for every party. He’s had lots of practice partying with attractive women and famous celebrities. I would have mentioned some of those celebrities, but the last time I did that one of the celebrities died a week and a half later. Seriously. (Sorry, Meshach Taylor.)
I used to have a difficult period. In my teens it would come upon me unannounced at 38 days or 43 days, whenever my uterus decided to get busy. By my early twenties, things had pretty much settled down and my period had become just another small nuisance to be taken care of. Most important was making sure that I was prepared for it. Not being prepared for it on one occasion had led to my crowning moment of street attitude, followed shortly by my crowning moment of street humiliation.
Here’s another “movie preview” comic for your enjoyment. Ben & Winslow Studios has been producing quality entertainment for the silver screen for years, starting with the horror classic Cartoon Zombie Freakout in 2009. Following its overwhelming commercial success both domestically and overseas, Ben & Winslow studios produced a number of other notable films: Ninja Apocalypse Fandango (2010); Bikini Robot A-Go-Go! (2011); Giant Radioactive Kaiju Sandwich Armageddon (2013); and Epic, Vaguely Medieval Showdown (2014). After a 2-year hiatus, the studio has returned with this sci-fi action adventure, proving that you haven’t really run out of ideas until you’ve done a story about time travel.
In 1968, Waiting for Bukowski was released to extreme critical and popular acclaim. The film followed the life of one Chuck B. Bukowski, a fire hydrant from Brooklyn, New York, and the woman he loved.
Normally Winslow would ask Little Winslow for medical advice, but since Dr. Spiderqueen is Ben’s doctor and Ben seems to be the one dying this week, Winslow felt it was only appropriate to stick with the physician that has the appropriate medical files on hand instead of a drawer filled with printed photographs of things he found when sneaking into the offices of legitimate doctors after hours. Or something.
“The Effectiveness of Feeding a Flock of Leucophaeus atricilla as a Method of Counteracting Querulous Behavior in a 10-Year-Old Male Child,” by Laura Jackson RobertsMar 1st, 2017 | By Defenestration
The apathetic pre-adolescent child’s tendency towards whining and boredom when required to participate in a family vacation event has been documented by child psychologists. One method of entertaining a child who prefers video games to outside activity was tested on a 10-year-old male subject. The subject was given a slice of Italian bread and instructed to offer it to a flock of laughing gulls in order observe the length of time he would interact with the birds and if he would have a positive reaction, thereby indicating amusement and providing his parents with an extended period of time devoid of disgruntled complaints during which they might dilute their emotional fatigue with an inhibition-lowering ethyl alcohol.
I think it’s really easy for people to fall into bad spending habits. For example, I spend way too much money on tabletop gaming miniatures. I have so many of these things in my house that I’ll never have enough time to paint them all, let alone actually play games with them. I’ve tried to wean myself off this habit by buying board games instead, but now I’m spending way too much money on board games. Such is life.