Temporal Middle Finger

I seriously hate losing an hour. Gaining an hour is like some awesome time traveling adventure where you’re rewarded for your valiant efforts with extra sleep. Losing an hour is just cruel.

“Long Married Date Night Menu From Vito’s Pizzeria Restaurant Owned and Operated By the Illiano Brothers Who Are Having More Sex With Their Wives Than You Could Possibly Imagine,” by Elizabeth Bastos

Pasta

Pizza

Steak Subs dripping with juice

Hand tossed salad

Juicy Imported Tomatoes come on the “Caprese”

Hot, Wide-Open Zucchini Blossoms, deep-fried

Worlds of Lamer: When Nintendo Wrote Books and Spandex Wasn’t Ironic

Is good literature dead? Yes. That’s why this column is so successful (I have two loyal readers I don’t even have to PAY). I like to think this is the place where one can focus on the shitty books of now (or then) that would make Wharton cry elegantly or cause Poe to have a [...]

Butterflies

I challenge you: grab a magnifying glass and a butterfly, and tell me that what you see doesn’t look exactly like the butterfly in this comic. The crazy eyes. The bad teeth. These sort of things are standard issue in the butterfly world. Caterpillars think they’re going to become beautiful, but in reality, they look better as fuzzy worms. Cuter that way, too.

Fight Club and Other Shit (with Science!)

Introduction:
My job is stupid.  Don’t get me wrong, I like pay checks and employment, as I lack other methods for collecting said pay check, but working is just dumb.  To clue you in to the environment of my mental personal hell, I’ve included a scene from this mornings antics:
Method One:
Boss: “Did you print something on [...]

“Tea Party Protests National Parks,” by Sarah Tascone

A bus load of Tea Party protesters arrived Saturday at Yellowstone National Park, kicking off a cross-country tour to protest the National Park system for what they consider wasteful spending and misuse of public funds—among other issues.

“Give us back our land” was the mantra of the 1,500-strong crowd at Yellowstone’s front entrance, carrying signs saying “Real Americans R Endangered Species, Too – Wheres R Protection?” and “Illegal Immigrants Out of ‘Jose-mite’!”

Gobble the Wiener

This comic is actually based on a true story. This guy Eileen and I knew in college did this exact thing, only instead of a hotdog, it was human being.

“What’s In Other People’s Fridges Says A Lot About Them,” by Elizabeth Bastos

A hasty survey (taken at parties when I say I am going to powder my nose, but really I am checking out their fridges) of my friend’s fridges (and pantries) reveals that certain people can live without quinoa. Few of my friends are spelt-lovers. Few take the time to cut fruit with a fruit knife in the European manner—there are lots of packages of Wegman’s pre-cut melon.

Dinner with Napalm

How would I go about throwing a fancy dinner party for upwards of 50 guests?
Stage One: Denial
What?  Fifty people didn’t really respond to the Evite.  It’s not like they all don’t know you live in a two-bedroom apartment. They don’t expect you to cook anything – you have an abortion for a kitchen, [...]

Pig-Headed

Sometimes, a cartoonist just needs to draw a pig.