Archive for November, 2008
Defenestration: November 2008
Welcome to the November 2008 issue of Defenestration. By reading this instead of other publications, you’re garuanteed to decrease your carbon footprint by nearly two shoe sizes! (Andrew and Eileen and Genevieve asked me to write that joke. They said, “Hey, Bigfoot, you should do a carbon footprint joke, on account of ‘carbon footprint’ being something [...]
“Wild Life in the Fast Lane,” by Nick Thomas
I don’t have especially fond memories of my first car. The reason can be explained in two words: Chevy Chevette.
Okay, you can stop laughing. I know this was not a car that a young, testosterone-primed male of the 80s could worship as it rattled along the Interstate powered by an engine that roared like an [...]
“Clark Reeper and the Angel of Temperance,” by Michael Panush
It was in the early evening in the bustling town of Virginia City, Nevada, when the Angel of Temperance, or to use her real name, Constance P. Trolpers, began her rounds. She was a passionate woman, full of vigor, vim and anger at the treacherous sins of alcohol. Every night since the American Temperance Society [...]
“Man of Spam (Spam Man),” by Ron Singer
Recently (how?), Kevin Kile (Mr. Kevin Kile) underwent (experienced) a
perfect spam storm. (What does that mean?)
The principal (main) source of Kevin’s (Mr. Kile’s) problem was
vocational (work-related): he was (is) a writer (author).
Specifically (yes, be specific), he was (is, is) an emerging (like a groundhog?) fiction writer with 43 (forty-three) Internet (ezine? blog? both?) publications (postings) [...]
“Casanova Prepares for a Duel, May 5, 1766,” by Michael Garriga
Tell me why, O Lord, why I had to scurry and scramble escaping that Venetian prison to come all the way to Poland-Poland!-to be murdered by a lifelong knight, the Grand Butler to the Crown, Count Colonel Franciszek Ksawery Branicki, a name that sounds like a child’s careless scribbling? A man who has wounded his [...]
Two Poems by Norman Ball
A Twenty-Syllable Epigram on the Modern Haiku
The marriage of today’s
busy professional
with tomorrow’s oblivion.
A Veritable Waste of Space
Veritible’s a word of minor weight,
mere filler culled to modify the void.
Its meaning tacks to hurry-up-and-wait
–all empty suit, adjectively deployed.
This now concludes my veritable screed
that heaped nonentitude on absent need.
————
In a prior life Norm suspects he was a metronome. [...]
“Space Case SuperStar,” by Katherine McIntyre
You’re my Venus, pretty lady,
Aphrodite of a sulfuric acid.
Morning Star sometimes,
your alluring eyes sparkle
like misleading stars.
Larger than Earth can encompass
Your beauty holds no bounds.
No, not large like a Double Cheeseburger.
I’m talking spacy, darling.
Hair blonde like the gaseous swirls that
Remind me of a half eaten Milky Way Bar.
An extraterrestrial love we have,
Not even your opaque clouds [...]
“Oompa Loompa,” by Dion Hitchings
When describing his art, Dion told us that we could call it childlike, colorful, self-revealing, erotic, funny, and strange. Or we could describe it as having lots of eyes. We like all of those descriptions, but for this particular piece we’re going to leave out the word “erotic,” because honestly, no one wants to think [...]
