Welcome to the November 2008 issue of Defenestration. By reading this instead of other publications, you’re garuanteed to decrease your carbon footprint by nearly two shoe sizes! (Andrew and Eileen and Genevieve asked me to write that joke. They said, “Hey, Bigfoot, you should do a carbon footprint joke, on account of ‘carbon footprint’ being something hip the young people like to say these days. And also, you have big feet! Ha! That’s comedy gold!” Jerks.)
Today is actually our birthday. (Which is why Andrew and Eileen and Genevieve asked me to write this. They’re all out partying with movie stars.) Five years ago, on a 20th of November very much like today, only in the past, our very first issue went live. Andrew, Eileen, and Genevieve intended for it to be a subtle path toward world domination, and are still waiting for that goal to be accomplished.
A few points I’d like to make this month:
1.) Newsletter: since adopting the new format, we’ve abandoned the Defenestration Newsletter. After unsuccessfully trying to convert our newsletter robot (Haratron) into a refrigerator, we decided to put him in charge of the newsletter’s replacement: the Defenestration Facebook group. If you’re on Facebook, please join us to receive the latest news that you ordinarily would have received via the newsletter, if it still existed. Which it doesn’t. Check it out here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=31366453957
2.) Archives: we get a lot of questions about our past issues. Like: “Why can’t I see them?” and “Where did they go?” and “You’re hiding them on purpose, aren’t you? You’re just like my ex! Get out of my apartment!” The answer to these questions are: “They went away when we changed formats” and “They’re on my hard drive, waiting to be uploaded” and “We’re not doing it on purpose. We love you, baby. Don’t make a scene, the neighbors can hear.”
We have some, but not all, of our archives up. Because it’s our birthday, we urge you to check out our very first issue in addition to the brand new one we have sparkling up front here. In the coming months, more issues will be reintroduced into the new format, until our archives are fully populated. And never fear, whenever significant portions of past issues are up and running, we’ll let you know. And by “we” I mean Haratron, because if he’s not going to chill my Kool-Aid to a pleasant 50 degrees, then he can write a little blurb on Facebook.
Anyway, enjoy the issue!
—Bigfoot, prose editor and mystery of the Pacific Northwest