1. Friend of the Devil
2. The Trespasser
3. The Rabbit in the Moon

I have been informed by Orvis and Recreation.gov that fly fishing brings one close to nature. I can see how standing in the middle of a stream would do that. Clearly Orvis and Recreation.gov have in mind a proximity that is more than just physical. Unfortunately, they do not specify. Orvis, however, claims that fly fishing facilitates this proximity by requiring one to mimic prey, whereas Recreation.gov cites fly fishing’s requirements for skill and grace. Curious as to where fly fishing might deliver one, I decided to do some research.

A Completely Unscientific Comparative Table of Cultural Characteristics of the Tri-State Region

(Excluding New York and Substituting Massachusetts in its Place)

Obnoxious Travelers recognize that comments spoken in English, however loudly, are incomprehensible to residents of countries other than America, England, and possibly Canada. If foreigners held a command of English, they obviously wouldn’t be wasting time with some other gibberish. Secure in this knowledge, Obnoxious Travelers feel completely at ease with expressing close-minded and misinformed criticisms of both foreign cultures and specific foreign individuals within earshot.

You know what’s truly scary? The fact that the birth control pill is only 99.9% effective. Wait, that means that one in a thousand times I should get pregnant anyway, right? That’s not really very heartening. If I entered a contest to win a car and the odds were one in a thousand, I would think, hey, I’ve got a pretty decent chance of winning this car. Except that car is an unwanted fetus!