• My sleep number is 10. Milligrams of Ambien
• I graduated from the 14th grade, is how my parents put it
• To date, I’ve had only 2 ‘Aha’ moments but well over 2,000 instances of ‘Duh’

I’ve always had a very laissez-faire attitude about germs. I feel like it is better to leave them alone than to make enemies of them. Nowadays, it sure seems like most people in our increasingly germaphobic society do not share my tolerance. It looks like biological warfare has been declared, and we are the aggressors.

Wait for the one sunny day per year in Seattle. The lawn also needs mowing, but the bike is more time-sensitive, because you must dry it thoroughly before it gets wet again.

The Multi-pocalypse!

Stay away from Cormac McCarthy/Octavia Butler novels, sharknadoes, anything with a whiff of zombies including corporate bookstores and public or college libraries (remember: zombies CAN sneak up on you! Be vigilant!).

Congratulations! If you’re considering your first trip to your nearest IKEA storefront, you have reached that special place in your life where you want furniture, but can’t afford any. That’s where we come in. Here at IKEA, we know we’re a much needed bridge between adolescence and adulthood. That transition can be tough. With that in mind, here are five simple tips for making your trip to IKEA a big success!