I understand that you’re only four, but I am going to take this opportunity to educate you about hair discrimination, as your parents apparently have not done. It’s not their fault they are unintelligent and ill-mannered. Your mother has straight, shiny, Pantene ad hair, and I bet your dad does too. Sadly, to the world at large, their beautiful, movie-star-like hair completely obscures their callous, empty souls and lack of social graces.

Don’t know what to make for dinner? How about the old stand-by, chicken? But don’t worry, you can jazz it up in ten different mouth-watering ways. These recipes are quick, easy, and completely serious.