On Wednesdays, Agnes was in charge of the kitchen. She had voodoo hands and could whip up this potato salad that Marcus joked was like sucking the fungus off God’s toes. She made damn fine food, but only on Wednesday, because every other day of the week Agnes worked under Jason, her supervisor, who was

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Granite Tracings is a small, stone-based literary magazine. Our mission: Exploration of the linguistic and epistemological concept of the commandment and how it relates to modern life.Our submission guidelines are simple, but ignore them at your peril. We’re well connected in the wrath department! 1. Your submission must be in the form of a commandment.

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Dear Mr. Queem: Although your story, A Hamster’s Heartbreak, does not meet our needs at this time, we thank you for submitting it, and we wish you the very best of luck placing it elsewhere. Sincerely, Editor Backbiter Press * * * dear editor you have to publish my story. hamster huey has cancer and

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George Lucas: Attention everyone. My name is George Lucas, and as president of the National Association of Directors Who Ruin Childhood Memories, I would like to welcome you to our 2009 Mid-Year meeting. As you know, our mission is to identify beloved childhood memories, distort them, and then force an unsuspecting public to watch them.

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Announcing the formation of the Society for the Naming of All Future Un-named (SNAFU). Even though psychologists recognize the importance of a name on self-esteem and social expectations, the last several decades have seen more and more children named with apparent indifference to the world’s perceptions and the potential psychological damage to the bearer of

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