Questions 1-4: Misery. Answer the following story problems using any method you like – provided it’s the method that I want you to use. Each problem is worth enough points to convince you that answering any incorrectly will earn you a grade that sabotages all of your future hopes. Calculators are not permitted.

Dear Auntie,

First of all, happy 80th birthday! I hope your social security check arrived. Guess what? Tim and I are having our wedding on August 20. And guess where we’re taking our vows? Koya-san, Japan! It’s the happiest place on Earth. It’s gonna be so cool.

You: Hey hon! Just wondering when you’re getting home, I was thinking we’d do tacos or— Him: Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you call me here and interrupt me, you’re breaking my concentration. You’re distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand?

[continue reading…]

Thanks for your e-mail. I’m out of the office right now, but I’ll reply as soon as I can. If you require immediate assistance, please contact Nicole Michaels at extension 4235. Your message is important to me.

Note that by “right now” I don’t mean now now, but rather then now, because I’m actually here while I compose this message, but I’ll be gone by the time you receive it, at some future now.

Level 1 – Luigi helps Mario move a broken futon into his new studio apartment. The fridge whines and the walls are decorated with angry fist holes. The landlord plomps by and lets Mario know there’s a problem with his deposit check. It’s a chicken parm cutlet. Mario readies a fireball in his hand. “Not now,” Luigi whispers.