Posts Tagged ‘ Simon Pinkerton ’

“Totally Dank Meme Ideas For My Tumblr (it’s pretty much viral or bust for me now),” by Simon Pinkerton

Jul 10th, 2019 | By

When you realise your day job isn’t fulfilling OR well paid


Pic: Two hot women arriving at a party in the same dress, looking at each other with those sideways-mouth faces, there’ll definitely be something like this out there

“Nautical Terms You Can Giggle at But You May be Broken,” by Simon Pinkerton

Feb 22nd, 2017 | By

Poop deck—where you walk about on the boat. The classic rude boating term.

Head—the toilet on a boat, and also a term for oral sex that Lou Reed thought rhymes with “head” (I know, it’s the same word!).

Abreast—when two boats lay together in a way the Bible probably frowns upon; a boob.

“Subject: Caty, just read this OK? Please. I need you to understand.” by Simon Pinkerton

May 4th, 2016 | By


I feel like I didn’t get a chance to fully explain myself the other day on the phone, so that’s why I’m emailing. I’ll continue where I left off, I mean, from where you hung up.

“Ink-justice: A short missive to my friend who is a writer now, I guess, and my awful, awful true feelings about the whole sorry affair,” by Simon Pinkerton

Feb 4th, 2015 | By


I’m so happy for you that you’re getting your first book published! {Just when I thought my life couldn’t get more depressing, this happens. It’s a sign of the degradation of our society, and if publishers and consumers bought anything of any merit, rather than nasty, moronic crime melodramas, then it would be my novels in print, and your ode to idiocy would lie unread in the only storage space you have, under the bed in your squalid little studio grief-hole, while your ugly, frail body, racked with alcohol-sweats and tears, would lie pathetically on the yellowed sheets above}